Train up a child…

Do our Children have the “Know How”?

There are many simple, basic things that we often take for granted that children will learn on their own. That may be true when they live in a culture where everyone is well-mannered, thrifty, and hard-working. Today’s culture, unfortunately, is not a culture where children always pick up acceptable behavior. We can’t expect our children to know what they haven’t been taught.
Recently, I noticed some children jump up on some chairs and start running around a classroom on chairs. I thought to myself, “Don’t those children know better than to do that?” Apparently, they had never been taught not to put their feet on furniture. I began to think about other common things we often assume that children know.

Do our children know…

…to close the refrigerator door right away?
…to not stand with a door open letting cold or hot air in the room?
…to turn off lights and machines when not in use?
…to say please, excuse me, thank you, and I’m sorry?
…when running is not appropriate?
…not to bump into older people?
…to make eye contact when someone is talking and to keep quiet during that time? (It is not possible to listen to someone else and talk at the same time; ears and mouths don’t work well together. Our minds are thinking about what we are seeing.)
…not to interrupt when someone else is talking?
…to greet someone when they walk into a room?
…to answer when asked a question?
…to greet someone when introduced?
…not to waste anything?
…to smile?
…to refrain from asking embarrassing questions?
…not to eavesdrop?
…to keep the voice at a low volume in appropriate places?
…to let others go first?
…to eat what is presented to them when a guest, or to quietly leave it on the plate and not say anything to insult the hostess?
…to give a compliment?
…to speak when spoken to?
…to open doors for older people?

These may seem like common, ordinary things for a child to know and, actually, they are. Quite often, however, adults may think a child knows these things when the child has not learned them. The basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others. With the attitude of kindness and consideration, many of these actions do, indeed, take care of themselves, but we need to make sure the children learn them.