Monthly Archives: January 2022

The Value of Storytelling

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

The Value of Storytelling

       In recent years there has been a significant emphasis on reading books to children.  Reading to children is a very good thing, but telling stories to children adds a dimension that reading to children does not.  Books for young children usually provide illustrations for children to use for understanding.  When children listen to stories, they must make their own mental images, and to do so requires listening carefully. Storytelling has almost become a lost art in many households.  It is an art that, in my opinion, needs to be revived.

         As children listen to stories, they develop listening skills, become creative as they are required to visualize scenes, and are treated to many subjects not covered in books.  As parents or grandparents tell stories of past experiences, the children gain a better understanding of the storyteller.  

         What kind of stories can we tell children?  Our own experiences provide a wealth of material.  In addition, Bible stories or some of the oldies that contain morals are good.  Many of Aesop’s fables teach children valuable behavioral lessons.  “The Fox and the Crane” teaches consideration of others.  “The Fox and the Crow” teaches not to be taken in by flattery.  “The Lion and the Mouse” teaches that size is not always the important thing and that even a little mouse can be more powerful than a lion.  This story can help a child feel self worth.  The “Emperor’s New Clothes” is a story that teaches children to be careful what they believe.  “Stone Soup” helps children understand the power of persuasion.  It also helps a child understand how easily it is to be taken in and that we should not be selfish.  These are only a few of the old stories that children love to hear and provide good learning at the same time.

         Sometimes it is good to let children or others participate in telling the story.  It is good to let them be creative and change stories if they want.  For example, on one occasion two of our grandchildren, their mother, grandfather, and I were traveling.  I suggested we all participate in telling the story of the three pigs.  We took turns and each person added to what had been said before.  When it was grandpa’s turn, he said, “Those little pigs decided they didn’t want apples at all.  They said, ‘Let’s go get some ice cream and let that ole wolf get apples if he wants!” The grandchildren laughed for the next 10 miles or so.  That was a springboard for them to become creative and make up their own variations of the story.

         Telling stories costs no money but creates pleasant life-long memories.  They can be told while sitting and waiting in a car, at bedtime, while traveling, or perhaps on a cold winter evening.  Storytelling provides a great amount of satisfaction for both the storyteller and the listener while the children learn invaluable lessons.

Note:  Some of the lessons in my book, Let the Children Come, contain additional stories that can be told to children.  It is available on Amazon and  can also be ordered from me through my website or e-mail.

patsylamb1936@gmail.com

www.patlambchristianauthor.com

What is your Heart’s Desire?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a Child…

What Does Your Heart Desire?

       Have you ever watched a group of children when one of them happened to take a tumble?  Did you notice how the other children reacted?  I have been in such a situation many times and wondered why other children would laugh when someone fell down.  Sometimes there would be a caring person in the group, usually an adult, who would go to the child to see if he/she were hurt.  It seems strange that people would laugh at potential harm. This is especially strange considering the fact that most children fall down at some time or another and probably experience the same embarrassment and hurt.  Why, then, are children not more concerned about the welfare of others instead of laughing?

         “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth,” we read in the 6th verse of the 13thchapter I Corinthians.  In the 5th verse of the same chapter, we read, referring to love, “It is not rude…”  One test as to whether we have love in our hearts is whether we enjoy seeing others have trouble.  If we really love others, we will desire the best for them.  Many children have not yet learned the true meaning of love or even that we are supposed to love others.  Children often respond according to natural inclinations rather than acceptable behaviors.

         Adults who have not yet learned to love as they should will be heard to say things like, “Aha, he finally got what was coming to him!” or “He deserved that! I’m glad to see that it happened!”  Both comments and other similar comments indicate a heart with the desire for hurt.

         On the other hand, people who are sad when someone “gets what is coming to them” are people whose heart desires good.  They feel sorry for people who suffer even if they did seem to cause their own trouble.  A heart of love wishes that the bad things were not done in the first place and want no one to have to suffer.

         Is it funny to see someone stumbling around drunk?  Is it funny when a family breaks up because of adultery?  We might hear someone laugh and say, “I knew that marriage wouldn’t last!” Should we laugh and make fun when others believe and worship differently from us?  Real love finds no humor in these situations.  Rather, a person who loves others would be sad to hear or see someone do something wrong and would respect the beliefs of others.  

         Children should be reprimanded for laughing when someone gets hurt.  Adults need to set a good example before children of compassion for those who are having troubles.

Love is so very different from the picture painted by society.  Society would have us believe that love is finding someone who pleases us.  Love is really a matter of putting others before ourselves and trying to please them.  This is the meaning of love that should be taught to children.

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Cherish the “Sweet” Days

         In a phone conversation with our daughter-in-law, she told me that our four-year-old grandson was having a “sweet” day.  She related that when they went shopping and she lifted him out of the car, he softly and gently said, “Mommy, I love you.”  Later, when they were in the store and she had him by the hand, he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it.  What precious moments!

         “Oh,” you say, “but it doesn’t last!”  Well, actually it can last.  Of course, it cannot be every moment of every day that children express their love, but there can be an ongoing inner love that leads to respect of parents.  This in-dwelling love should also be present in the parents for the children.  

         Most people would quickly bring to mind the teenage years when children so often tend to disrespect parents as they struggle to “leave the nest” and become independent.  I dare say, even though there are times of friction between parent and child, the foundation can be laid that ensures that children always come back to that expression of love.  

When our oldest grandson reached puberty, I called him aside and said, “Now, Dylan, you are about to become a teenager.  I want you to be like your Uncle Charles.  When he was in high school, he was never afraid to give me a hug no matter who was watching.”  It worked.  Dylan gave me hugs in front of his peers all through his teenage years. He was never afraid to show affection to his mother as well.  His younger sister followed his example and also showed affection to her mom and grandparents.

         A worse scenario than a teen who refuses to show affection to parents, is the grown-up who speaks sharply to aging parents or shows disdain when a parent does something that the grown-up child finds distasteful.  How often have we heard, also, of the aging parent in the nursing home who receives few or no visits from adult children?  

         Dr. Adrian Rogers once remarked in a sermon that he would never allow his children to speak disrespectfully to their mother.  He said that their mother went through much pain to bring their children into the world.  As they grew, she changed their diapers and cared for them in many ways. As a father, he wanted his children to know that they owed their mother respect and that they should treat her with dignity.

         Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone would love and respect everyone else?  As Valentine’s Day approaches, we think of love and its meaning.  Let’s teach our children that love means that we care for others whether or not they see things the same way we do.  When others make their best efforts, let’s appreciate those efforts and not be judgmental and critical.  There are ways of expressing our beliefs without hurting others.  After all, we are all learning and growing every day.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The mistakes of others are no worse than our own.  To love others doesn’t mean that we must agree, but it does mean that we should be kind, patient, and longsuffering.  Let us practice this love to our children as we expect them to practice it to us in return.  

         I know of no better description of love than that given in the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the New Testament.  It would be good if we all read this chapter often.

It’s Not Just Child’s Play

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

It’s Not Just Child’s Play!

         It is a wonderful thing when parents will play with their children.  There is great value in time spent simply having fun with them.  This time is an opportunity for bonding, teaching, and creating memories.

Right after Christmas there is an opportunity to explore the new toys and games together.  When dad or mom get on the level of the child and explore the new possibilities of enjoyment, the child learns to appreciate the fact that the parent has interest in his/her world.  A special relationship between the child and parent is created.  This new relationship results in a better understanding of each another. 

In the event that a toy breaks, as many are apt to do, as the parent helps repair that toy, the child learns about how things work.  Parents have an opportunity to teach new words and understandings to the child.

Even if there are no new games or toys, parents and children can create their own games. Our grown children still laugh about playing “sandwich” or “slobber ear” with their dad, and I laugh when I see them play the same games with their children.  These are rough and tumble games on the floor (or grass in the summer) where all involved laugh and giggle as they try to get away from each other to avoid having an ear chewed or to become the bottom bread of a sandwich.  They laugh as “the meat” wriggles out to try to become the top bread and the bottom bread tries even harder to escape being the bottom bread.  It is important, however, for the parent to know when enough is enough in these games.  It is cruel to tickle children too much.  Also, weight of individuals needs to be considered so no person is hurt.

Many board games offer opportunities for learning as well as having fun.  Long winter evenings are well spent in playing games such as Monopoly, Balderdash, Sequence, or others with older children. In Monopoly, children learn much about money.  They learn to count the money as well as a great deal about how business works.  Balderdash is a great game for teaching writing, persuasion, and vocabulary.  Our family has laughed until we cried at some of the silly definitions written for some of the words in Balderdash. Board games designed for younger children teach a child to take turns and that they cannot always win.  They can learn to lose graciously.

Laughter is a good medicine. King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”.  Playing and laughing with our children relieves our stress as well as theirs.  We sometimes forget that children, too, have stress as they seek to please their parents and teachers.  

Time spent playing with children is a wonderful investment that yields dividends for eternity.  Children grow up so fast!  Let’s take advantage of the opportunities we have to spend time with them while we can. 

 

Checklists: Real Voice Savers

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Checklists:  Real Voice Savers

         Have you ever found yourself yelling at the kids?  Dr. James Dobson says that trying to direct children by yelling is like trying to drive a car by honking the horn.  Have you ever thought about how tired you get telling the kids things over and over?  There is a better way.

         Now, at the beginning of the new year, is a good time to make sure everyone understands individual responsibilities.  If responsibilities, consequences, and rewards are discussed now, things will go smoothly during the year.  Consequences and rewards need to be clarified so there is no misunderstanding later.  Then, when children face consequences, it is by their own choice, not the parents, because they clearly understood ahead of time what would happen according to the choices they made.  No heated discussions need occur.  Parents can simply say, “I’m sorry that you made that choice.  You knew what the consequences were when you made your decision.”

         Making checklists can not only save your voice, but they can save much time and effort.  You may say, “But I don’t have time to make a checklist!”  Believe me, it takes less time to make a list than to repeat the same thing over and over and then backtrack to see that things have been done.

         Start with making a list of chores that children need to do.  It helps to have the children actually do the list themselves with your input.  Children have a pretty good sense of what they can and can’t do. Our daughter, a single mom, used to have her children sit at the dinner table while she cooked the evening meal and do their homework and make out a list of what they needed to do the next day.  It worked beautifully.  The next day, she simply looked at the list to see what had been checked off.  If something had not yet been done, they discussed that evening how it could be accomplished.  They worked as a team.  The children fixed their own lunches in the morning before school and were able to do so because they had discussed ahead of time what they would have and listed those items.  After a few times, the list was not needed.  They knew what to do without the list.

         When our daughter’s children were in upper elementary and high school, a color-coded chart was put on the refrigerator.  It could be told immediately what had or had not been accomplished.  When something was not done, our daughter simply said, “Dylan, I noticed that you haven’t checked off ________.  When do you plan to do it?”  The children were responsible for the task but were permitted to “trade off” with each other if soccer practice or something else interfered.  If they wanted to go to a friend’s house, they knew that they could not go unless chores were done, and they didn’t even bother to ask.  

         I’ve never heard our daughter yell at her children.  When Dylan was in college and LeAndra was a senior in high school, they both were very responsible individuals and made good grades. LeAndra took her senior year online and was salutatorian of her online class. She now has a master’s degree in civil engineering and is doing very well with her job at an engineering firm in Denver.  Dylan is doing well working at Trader Joe’s in California.

         If you haven’t tried checklists, I encourage you to do so.  They really work!