Monthly Archives: December 2020

When Children Get Sick

by Pat Lamb (Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

When Children Get Sick

         When children get sick, as they inevitably do, we often ponder about how much to “baby” them or just how to care for them.  What mother has not sat by the side of a sick child and thought, “I’d rather it were me feeling that way than my child”?  It hurts us emotionally while at the same time it is hurting the child physically.

         Of course, we try to do all we can to prevent that sickness in the first place.  We encourage the children to wash their hands often, singing “Happy Birthday” while scrubbing with soap and warm water to make sure the hands are scrubbed long enough to get clean.  We do our best to make sure the child has plenty of fruit and vegetables in the diet to provide the vitamin C and other nutrients needed to fight the germs.  We try to see that the child is dressed properly for the cold weather, and we try to keep the child away from places where we know germs are present.  In spite of all our care, we often feel at least a little guilt when the child gets sick as we wonder if we did all we could have done to prevent the illness.

         There are actually some positive things that come from sickness.  One such positive learning is that children come to realize that they are vulnerable.  Many young people often feel as though they can do anything and nothing bad will ever happen.  Sickness teaches a child that we each need to be careful with how we care for ourselves. A time of sickness in the home can become a time of bonding between family members as all pitch in and help the sick one.  The sick child may learn to appreciate the love and care of others.  A third benefit is a possible development of sympathy and understanding of others when they become sick.  It seems that we can never truly appreciate the feelings of others until we, ourselves, have experienced what they are going through.  People who seldom get sick often are impatient with those who do get sick more often.

         How much care should be given to a sick child?  In my opinion, we need to take advantage of this time to “coddle” the child a bit.  There are, of course, occasions when this is not true.  If a child starts to take advantage of the extra attention, we need to back off.  When a child is truly sick, however, that child needs assurance of love and care.  We need a balance of not seeming overly concerned but, at the same time, children need to know that we wish the best for them. To this day, I can remember my mom’s hand on my forehead when, as a child, I would get sick and throw up.  I’m sure that hand did no physical good, but it showed that she cared.  Another memory is a time when my dad brought a pretty colored ear of corn from the field for me when I had tonsillitis.  

         Should a child be allowed to watch TV?  Yes, but only educational programs. Should a child do homework?  The child should do homework only if he/she is not feeling too badly.  I would not force it but would check occasionally to see if he/she feels like it, and then I would give assistance. Should a child be allowed to get up and run around?  Generally, we need to allow a child to do what that child feels like doing until the temperature has been normal for at least 24 hours.  Then the child probably needs to go back to school.  Sometimes, medicine can make a child feel better while he/she is getting worse.  This may be the case when medicine is given to treat symptoms only and the medicine does not treat the cause of the symptoms.  

         We probably will not do everything perfectly when our children get sick.  We simply try to give proper physical and emotional care to the best of our ability and pray that the Great Physician will do whatever else is needed.  

Good Manners Make Holidays More Enjoyable

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come, Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Good Manners Make Holidays More Enjoyable

         It is good that families can get together for the holidays, but it is even better when all involved in those get-togethers mind their manners.  Unfortunately, it would seem that there are those who have not learned what good manners are. It is the responsibility of parents to teach children to stop and think before they act and to set a good example.  Sometimes, in the search for enjoyment, many feel that they can throw good manners away and simply do what feels good for self.

         The basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others.  When we consider the comfort of self only, we are neglecting good manners.

         Both the host home and parents should set ground rules for behavior.  When visiting the home of another, we should live by the rules of that home.

Parents need to check with the host home for special rules ahead of time and talk to the children about their behavior.  The host or hostess should mention in a nice way what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.  If there are special considerations, these should be included.  For instance, elderly people, especially those who are not well, do not like loud noises.  No one likes to have others bother their belongings.

         Following are a few suggestions for the host home:

  • Put breakable things out of reach of two-year olds and younger.  Understand that two-year-olds are still checking boundaries and will not obey when told one time.  They simply must be told over and over and watched to see that they obey.  Much effort can be avoided by simply putting some things away.  Make sure all medications are put safely away.
  • When children age three and older bother things, simply take the time to put an arm around them and explain why those things shouldn’t be bothered.
  • Be careful how guests are welcomed.  When children hear, “Just make yourselves at home”, they think you really mean it.
  • Understand that most children want approval.  When children act nicely, seize the opportunity to praise them.  Once they are praised, they will begin to repeat that action.
  • Treat children with respect as you would an adult.
  • If possible, plan activities appropriate for children to give them something enjoyable to do while adults visit.

Here are some suggestions for the guests:

  • Under no circumstances should children be allowed to open cupboards or drawers to investigate contents. 
  • Children should not touch or fondle breakable objects nor bother electronic equipment.
  • Children should not be allowed to run inside the house.
  • Children should use “inside voices”.  They should say excuse me if they must interrupt someone who is speaking, or they should not interrupt at all.
  • Children should never look in the refrigerator or help themselves to something unless invited to do so.
  • Children should use good table manners.

If effort is spent planning ahead by setting ground rules and teaching manners, everyone will enjoy the time together and good memories will be formed.

Giving Should be from the Heart

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child

Giving Should be from the Heart

         When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation several years ago, at one time we had a principal of our school who was one of the last survivors of the Mandan Indian tribe.  On one occasion, his cousin came to visit him and gave him an air-conditioning unit for his car.  Mr. Bearghost, our principal, in turn gave his cousin his favorite rifle.  He explained to us that the custom of the Mandan tribe had always been to give as a gift to someone else the thing that meant the most to self.  In keeping with this custom, when a man went deer hunting, the first deer killed was to be given away to someone else.  The hunter could keep only the second deer killed.

         “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” is a difficult lesson to teach children.  It is something we adults often forget ourselves.  However, it really is true.  Some of the best memories of Christmas are those of pleasing someone else with a gift.  

         True love means giving up the wants and wishes of self for the benefit of others.  The purpose of giving gifts at Christmas is to show love for others. It follows then, that to truly show love for others, we need to sacrifice the wants of self.

         We should not go in debt to give gifts.  By doing so, we are not really giving the gift, but the gift is being given by the one providing the money.  A gift should come from our own means. When we give money to children to buy gifts, it is really the person who gave the money who is buying the gift.  Children should examine their own means and abilities to see what they can give.  

         One of the best gifts that can be given is time.  How wonderful it is when our grown children now come to visit my husband and me and they look around the house to see what needs to be done that is difficult for us to do.  Every time they visit and leave, they have left the place in better shape than when they came.  Small children, too, can learn that obeying and helping with chores can be a good gift for parents and others.

         At a missions conference I attended, we were told that people in another country were praying for America because we had become too materialistic.  Christmas is a time when we have a special opportunity to choose whether to put emphasis on materialism or to teach children that material things are not lasting and that there are more important things in life.  At the current time, as we look at pictures on TV of homes burned in California and other places, we see a visual lesson of how material things do not last.  In recent years and months, we have seen over and over belongings of people destroyed in floods, hurricanes, fires, ice storms, earthquakes, or tornados.  These happenings should serve as a reminder to us that there are more important things in life than material possessions.

         This Christmas season may we truly put emphasis on love of family and others instead of just accumulating “things”.

Choosing Gifts for Children

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Choosing Gifts for Children

            When our children were young, there were some Christmas days that my husband and I would look at each other in bewilderment as we watched our children open their presents, set them aside, and start playing with the cardboard boxes they came in! We had put much time and effort into selecting what we thought was just the right gift, yet they enjoyed the boxes more than what they had contained. It is easy to spend a good deal of money and time and still not come up with the right gift. 

         We all like to see children have fun and be happy on Christmas morning.  It is a temptation to overspend to make sure that the children will not be disappointed.  Sometimes we buy a gift, and then not feeling sure we chose the right gift, we go and buy another gift.  Where does it stop?

         It is great to give a gift that the kids really like and have fun with.  It is even greater if they can have fun and learn something valuable at the same time.

         Money spent on educational toys is money well invested.  It is unfortunate that there are also toys on the market that have little or no learning value and break easily.  Those toys are a waste of money.  Some last only a few minutes.  We, as parents and grandparents, need to use wisdom in deciding whether the toy asked for by a child is really the best purchase.  I have never been excited over Disney creations.  They may be alright but what do they really teach?  I see very little, if any, learning value in them.  Barbie dolls may actually have a negative effect on children.  After all, what kind of goals do we want our children to have?  I was glad when our daughter decided that she did not want to encourage our granddaughter to get excited about Barbie dolls.  Someone gave our granddaughter a Barbie book when she was small.  I was astonished when I read it to her and found what the book was about. Barbie was sad because she wasn’t going to get to model in a show until another model broke her leg, and she got the job after all.  Are we teaching our children to profit by the misfortune of others?

         We need to consider, also, that many toys are made overseas.  We may want to wash or sterilize some before the children play with them.  They may be made in factories that are not sanitary and come on ships a long way.  Someone told me that they worked one Christmas season unpacking toys that came from overseas and a big blue bug flew out of a box.  Everyone was sent out of the room while it was fumigated.  The children who got those toys not only got toys that had had bugs on them, but had also been sprayed with insect killer.  

         Let us keep our emotions under control and carefully think through the selection of gifts for our children.