Monthly Archives: July 2021

Helping Children Set Goals for School

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Helping Children Set Goals for School

       If we don’t know where we are going, how do we know when we get there?  Children and adults alike need to know what they are aiming toward.  As we help our children get ready for school, we need to include a time to sit down with each child individually and help that child set realistic goals for the coming school year.

         Goals should be predicated on what is best for the child.  There should be both short-term and long-term goals.  Goals should lead to mastery of needed material for the success of the child.

         It is all too easy for a parent to impose goals on a child to accomplish what the parent wants for the child rather than what the child really needs.  All adults have dreams and aspirations for their children and these same dreams and aspirations can cause us to set goals for a child to accomplish what we want, not taking into consideration the child’s real abilities.  Good goals will take into consideration the problems a child has had and the vision of what that child can realistically accomplish.  To expect all children to be “A” students is not being realistic.  Even if a child is smart enough to be an “A” student, that child may get a teacher whose personality does not “click” with the child, the child may have times when s/he may not feel well, or a child may have a mental block or lack of background experience to provide a needed foundation for understanding of what is being taught.  In fact, grades should not be the priority of goals.  Grades should be taken out of the picture and effort should be emphasized.  If a child is developing good study habits and doing the best possible, that is the important thing.  

         Enough short-term goals should be set to encourage a child along the way.  One short-term goal might be to spend a certain length of time each school night for a week doing homework.  When that goal is reached, another short-term goal of perhaps a month of a certain amount of time spent on homework could be set. The child or parent may decide on an award for the accomplishment of each goal. The emphasis should be placed on spending time learning the material.  Even if a child says that the work is done, sitting there for a certain length of time will provide time for reflection on what is learned as well as thoughts of application of the material learned.  To finish a paper or two does not mean that a child has learned the needed facts. It is wonderful when a child learns the pleasantness of learning!  Learning opens new worlds that many children never discover in their eagerness to “get it over with”.  A long-term goal is to see that the child experiences the joy of learning.  

         Some schools have done away with grades of A, B, C, D, and F.  They are experimenting with promoting children by levels.  When a child can test out of a certain level, that child moves to the next level. There are many examples of students who have made high grades who don’t know the material and vice versa.  Just to “finish homework” doesn’t meet the need of the child.  Parents, as well as teachers, need to make sure that the child knows the material.  Goals should be set to accomplish mastery of material assigned.   

         Each child is unique and one set of goals does not fit all.  As parents take the time to sit down with the child and discuss needs and goals, it would be well to listen to the child first.  Most children will be honest and surprisingly know what they need to do if given a chance.  It is the parent’s role to provide guidance and encouragement.  

Children in the Kitchen

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Children in the Kitchen

         It is a good idea to get children in the kitchen as early as possible to begin teaching them some basics of food handling.  After all, we all have to eat to survive and someone has to prepare the food, so everyone—both girls and boys—need to learn to prepare food.

         Children can help with small tasks at a very early age.  They can help set the table for meals, stir things like salads, and even wash some pans.  Even if some of the work has to be done over, they are beginning to learn.

         One of the first things to teach young children about cooking is cleanliness.  They need to be taught to always wash hands before handling food.  A good way to help them be thorough with washing their hands is to have them sing the Happy Birthday Song while rubbing hands with soap and water.  When they have scrubbed for the duration of the song, they hopefully have clean hands.  Small children usually have dirt under the fingernails and they need to be taught to use a brush or other instrument to remove the dirt.  In addition, they need to be taught not to touch the hair, nose, face, or anything that might have germs while working with food.

         Here is an easy recipe that even small children can do.  The nice thing about it is that they can use it like play dough to be creative in making animals, etc. and then enjoy eating it.  It is a nutritious food that is especially good for children who are not allergic to peanuts or are not obese.  

Edible Play Dough (Cookies)

1 cup powdered milk

1 cup peanut butter

½ cup honey

(A non-breakable bowl would be best to use to mix the ingredients.)

Combine dry powdered milk, peanut butter, and honey in bowl.  Mix with hands until smooth.  

Make animals, people, or funny shapes.  Eat the results.

(Be sure the surface area is clean when making the shapes.  To make fur on animals, roll in coconut.  Raisins can be used for eyes.)

         Even though many parents buy toy kitchen equipment for children to play with, I always preferred to let my children work in a real kitchen.  I never saw the wisdom of spending all that money on toy cabinets, dishes, pans, etc. when the real thing was available for the children.  Children love to have grown-ups spend time with them.  What better way to spend time with the children than in the kitchen making something useful?

Teaching Children to do their Share of Work

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Teaching Children to do their Share of Work

         There is dignity in hard work.  There is an inner joy that can be obtained no other way than simply straining to do a job well and then knowing the satisfaction of having done just that.  The work ethic is missing in many places in our country.  We desperately need to teach our children not only the pleasure found in doing hard work, but the responsibility that each of us has to contribute to the betterment of the situations in which we find ourselves. How to accomplish this task is a real challenge, but it can be done.

         We must start when children are very young– even as early as toddler age– teaching the value of hard work. When a toddler picks up a toy and puts it away, that toddler needs to be praised.  As mommy and daddy help the young child pick up all toys and put them away, the parents can talk about how nice it is to have a clean room and how good it feels to see how pretty everything looks when toys are put away in the right places.  Even a young toddler notices how hard mommy and daddy work and at this age, they want to help.  Little children like to help hold the vacuum cleaner with parents and even try to sweep the floor.  Parents need to capitalize on this interest and let children help as much as possible.

         As children leave the toddler stage, chores need to be assigned and children need to be made to understand that they have a role to play in keeping the household running smoothly.  At all ages, children need to have responsibilities and be held to those responsibilities.  To yell at children and force them to do things beyond their ability will simply make them hate to work.  Keeping chores assigned commensurate with their ability and expressing satisfaction at jobs well done, will go a long way toward helping them experience pleasure in work.  

         Too much praise for normal expectations of a child is not good.  There are some things in life we need to do whether we receive praise or not.  Too much praise may cause a child to think that they don’t have to do something unless they receive a reward.  Also, in my opinion money should not be given to do regular chores.  Children have a responsibility to do their part without pay.  It is good to give an allowance simply to teach a child to plan and make purchases wisely for needs and wants, but not for doing things that they should do as their responsibility in the home.

         I know a personnel manager of a company who told me that he loved to recruit from College of the Ozarks because those kids had a work ethic that was better than students at other places where he recruited. In the past, this part of the country has been known for its work ethic.  If our children are to not only succeed, but perhaps even survive in the future, they are going to have to know how to work.  It is a good idea to talk to children before they go back to school this fall and tell them how important it is for them to work hard at their school work and learn all they can to prepare themselves for their future.

         Ideally, a child will learn to “pitch in” and help any time help is needed anywhere when s/he is able.  To let children go for years just having fun with no responsibilities, and then when they are grown expect them to suddenly change and be responsible, simply doesn’t make sense.  Children must be required to work and be responsible in order to learn responsibility.  It isn’t automatic!

Where’s the Meat??

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wwwpatlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Where’s the Meat??

         Many of us are familiar with the commercial that was so popular a few years ago where a little old lady demanded to know “Where’s the beef?” She was referring to hamburgers in the commercial.  I am reminded of this commercial many times when I view some of the children’s programs and books that are available now.  I keep wondering, “Where’s the meat?”  It seems that much of what is being done with children now tends to be more entertaining than contain real value for children.  That is not to say that children should not be entertained and have fun while learning.  Of course, most children like fun, but the real objective should be the teaching of values and information with the fun part as a by-product or side issue.  There are times in life when we have to do things that are not fun, and children need to learn that principle.

         Our present-day society provides so much entertainment for children that often we feel that we must compete to keep the attention of a child. This leads to shallowness when dealing with serious topics. It is difficult to hold attention of children very long, so we find ourselves doing antics, shouting, or doing whatever it takes to keep their attention.  Some of this is fine, but there are times when a child needs to simply learn to sit still and listen.  We sometimes tend to glide over some things simply to get through the lesson.  

         There was a time, when I taught kindergarten, that parents brought children to me and said, “You have my permission to spank him!”  Can you see that happening now?  Teachers walk a thin line trying to get children to learn without upsetting them.  Children know teachers are not allowed to spank and many take advantage of this fact.  In many cases, if students thought they could be spanked, the spanking would not be necessary.  As teachers walk this thin line, they know they cannot demand children perform past a certain point, or the child and the parents will get upset.  This forces the teacher to let the child get by with things that prevent the depth of learning they need.  

         In church situations, teachers and leaders must deal with the fact that a child may not return to church if made to behave appropriately.  Many parents do not require their children to attend church and leave it up to the child to decide.  This fact forces church workers to have to be very careful not to upset a child by providing discipline for proper behavior. At the same time, we need to remember that the whole purpose of getting a child to church is to teach that child ways of behavior pleasing to Jesus. When we fail to do that, we are teaching a child by default that it is alright to misbehave.

Children now have colorful books that talk or even smell when you scratch them.  Some books have fold-outs with hidden things beneath.  Much of this is great.  It would be even better if values for living were incorporated in the text, but often they are flat when it comes to a story plot. Since teachers and leaders of children are so restricted, we really need to choose the materials carefully that contain “meat” for children. Those working with children need to choose movies, games, and activities that do not only fill up time, but teach what children need to know. They also need to require behavior acceptable to Christ, but it must be required in a loving way.

Let’s remember that children have real problems, and they need real solutions to those problems.