by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book (Books available on my website, Amazon, Barnes & Noble)
Train up a child…
Parents, Kids, and Public Places
Have you noticed the many signs in public places reminding parents to watch their children? I saw one place that actually had a sign listing rules for children while in the restaurant. In addition to the signs, proprietors comment about the problems they have when parents bring children to their places of business. In a consignment shop, the proprietor told of a child who was running around in the store and knocked over a valuable antique mirror and broke it. The parent became upset with the business owner for not having the place “child friendly”!
Parents need to understand that they are totally responsible for the behavior of their children. Store owners, doctors, dentists, schools, and churches are not responsible for a child’s behavior even though they may be helpful in providing guidance or activities for a child. Ultimately, it is the parent who is responsible for the child and what that child does.
Laying ground rules before leaving the house, providing activities for the child, and careful selection of the places a child is taken can alleviate the problems connected with taking children to public places.
It is understandable that parents get tired, and perhaps even close to exhaustion, when children constantly place demands on them. This often leads to parents taking a backseat to the child and becoming reactive instead of proactive. We simply cannot allow ourselves to do that. In the long run it causes more effort and frustration. Parents need to think ahead and not wait until a child does something wrong and then try to deal with it. Preventive action is much better.
Children feel more secure when they know what is expected of them. They need to be told that they are not to touch anything in a store without permission. They should not run around or leave a chair unless told that it is alright to do so. Begging and whining for things should not be allowed. Children should not interrupt conversations of others unless it is an emergency and even then they should say “excuse me”. In restaurants, parents need to oversee what is ordered to eat. If a child is old enough and able, that child should pick up whatever is dropped and clean up any messes made. If the child is unable to do so, the parent should do it. When the child understands ahead of time that he/she must clean up the messes they make, that child will be more careful with the eating process.
There are many nice children’s toys or activity books that children can take to a public place where waiting is involved. Parents would be wise to have an activity bag packed and kept in the car for such occasions. There are electronic toys that will keep children occupied for great lengths of time. Many of these have good educational value. Older children could have a good book handy to take along. I know a family who always makes a trip to a bookstore before going on an extended trip. Each person chooses a book to read on the plane or in the car. Cell phones or Ipads are permissible on a limited basis, but reading books should not be totally abolished. Some books can be downloaded on devices.
There are some places where children should simply not be taken. If mom is having a day out to have her hair fixed, arrangements should be made for the children to be elsewhere. Also, children do not belong in antique shops with valuable antiques that can be broken easily. Good judgment needs to be used in the selection of places to take children. They need to understand that in order to go to certain places, they must act properly.
A little preparation ahead of time can make life more pleasant for all concerned when children are in public places.