Train up a child…

It takes Tough Parents to Have Tough Love

There are many parents who are having a really difficult  time raising their older teens. Recently I read that using marijuana by teens in Canada is as common as playing soccer. Approximately 28% of young people are smoking it as compared to 23% in the U.S. This means that about one out of every five teens have tried or are using marijuana in our country. With the push for legalizing its use, it is a real challenge for parents to convince their children that it is harmful. Another complication to working with children is that many counselors say that a person must want to quit a habit or addiction before they can be helped. How can we get our children to want help??
At an early age children should be taught the harmful effects of drug use. Supply needs to be cut off. Consequences need to be adhered to and that takes tough love on the part of parents.
In spite of the promotion of marijuana by saying that it is not harmful, research shows that it is, indeed, harmful. Studies have shown that teen marijuana smokers show a loss in IQ. They are 60% less likely to finish high school or get a university degree. The researchers, mainly from Australia and New Zealand, did a study comparing people age 30 to their patterns of use before age 17. They found that those who were daily users before age 17 had an 18-times greater chance of becoming dependent on the drug. The drug also presents the risk of psychosis. It is often called a “gateway” drug. That is to say that it is the start of using even stronger and harsher drugs that may have even more harmful effects.
One has to wonder how kids can afford to get the drug. It is not cheap, I have been told. Parents can show tough love by cutting off money they are giving to their children and requiring them to account for how any money they have received is used. Parents simply must know about the friends their children have chosen and where their children are spending their time. The adolescent years are so very important; yet, it would seem that many parents start relaxing during that time and do not keep close watch on their sons and daughters. In spite of what the children say, parents need to report any illicit activity connected with drugs. No matter how hard it is, parents must take a stand to protect their children.
It is hard to discipline an older teen who may have a baby and be using drugs, but the child should be told that the Department of Social Services can take that baby if the parents are using drugs. No matter how hard it is, the parent must be tough enough to allow the child to suffer the consequences of their choices. If they end in jail, don’t bail them out. Don’t give them money unless you can track its use. Don’t be an enabler!
It may mean the shedding of many tears to get children through the teen years, but it is worth it all. Of course, prevention is much easier than correction. Parents need to be able to think ahead of their children and guard them carefully.