Train up a child…

Gift-giving Develops Empathy

Christmas presents an opportunity to develop an important trait in children. As gifts are selected and presented, if children are involved in the process, they can develop the ability to feel and think as others feel and think.
Empathy, in a nutshell, is to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It is very close to sympathy, but sympathy is usually thought of as feeling sad with someone. Empathy is the ability to feel many emotions with others, not just sadness.
Why is it important for children to develop empathy, and how does gift-giving help in the process?
Being able to share feelings with others affects actions. Quite often we hear of horrible atrocities of cruelty committed by individuals and we wonder how it could possibly happen. Could it be that the people committing the atrocities have never developed an ability to feel as their victim feels? I think so. They seem detached from the acts they are doing. A child who learns to feel with others is not as likely to do things to hurt others because they understand the feelings they are causing.
A child who can identify with the thoughts and feelings of others will have better relationships throughout life. They will be able to choose actions to please friends and, as adults, their spouses. They will have a better understanding of authority of teachers, parents, police, and bosses. They will develop the ability to figure out why people act as they do, and that leads to better understanding of others.
How does gift-giving help develop empathy? When parents work with children in selecting gifts, they can say such things as, “Do you think your sister would like this?” Discussion can follow as to why the person would or would not like a particular gift. Every question a parent asks stimulates thinking about the gift recipient. All of this leads to a better understanding of the other person. The giver begins to imagine self in the position of the person receiving the gift. A visual image emerges of the person for whom the gift is being selected and an analysis of that person follows. Soon, the giver is experiencing some of the same feelings mentally as they think the person receiving the gift is feeling. This is empathy!
On Christmas morning, the process is repeated when the gift is opened. The giver of the gift is watching the recipient to see a reaction. Are they pleased? Are they happy? What are they feeling? All of this leads to an even better understanding of the person and a greater empathy has been developed. As both feel happy about the gift, true empathy has been established.
Alert adults will watch for opportunities to help children develop empathy to ensure that they grow up with good relationships and actions that promote well-being of others.