by Pat Lamb (Author of “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or patlambchristianauthor.com )
Train up a child…
Children Test our Love
If we were to ask every parent, “Do you love your children?” probably almost all of them would say, “Of course, I love my children!” There is no doubt that most parents really try to love their children all the time. There is a natural, inborn attachment to our children; however, when it comes to the everyday nitty-gritty, down-to-earth task of raising children, it is not always easy to show love to our children.
Every day our love is tested by those to whom we give most of our time and effort. Children test us unknowingly and innocently. As they go through the natural processes of growing up, their actions and circumstances place a constant demand on us. We are tested in every characteristic of love. I Corinthians 13 in the Bible gives us a description of love. It tells us that love is long-suffering, doesn’t put itself up higher than others, isn’t easily provoked, is patient, doesn’t have to have its own way, bears all things, endures all things, and doesn’t lose hope. Children test us in each of these categories.
What patience it takes with the newborn! Our patience and long-suffering are tested each time a parent gets up at night to feed the child and care for it. There is actual physical suffering as the sleep-deprived parent stumbles to the baby to comfort it. It seems so hard! Just when we think the baby is comforted, it starts crying again, requiring the same action by parents over and over.
As the baby grows and becomes a toddler, again our patience is tested as we tell the young child “no, no” and the child continues in the forbidden action. Even our physical stamina is tested as we constantly take little hands away from places they should not be. At this point, we may become “easily provoked”.
Parents “bear all things” as the child continues to grow to school age. We put up with people who may point out our child’s imperfections. After all, we’ve invested a lot in the child by now. When someone shows us a fault, it is often taken as a reflection on our ability to parent the child. What do we do? Most of the time there is no choice but to grin and “bear it”. We must continue to have hope that the child will overcome the flaw.
As the child grows into the teen years, we seem to be tested even more than before. Getting up at night with the newborn or chasing after the toddler seems preferable to dealing with the heartaches that are often experienced by parents of teens. Here we find that we do not always get our own way and we must endure a great deal.
When children finally reach adulthood, our love test is still proceeding. Choices are made by children that we don’t always agree with, but we love our children in spite of not “having our own way”. Many times we even have to swallow our pride and admit that the child knew better than we did.
When I send my children valentines each year, I try to do a self-evaluation. Do I have the love that God expects me to have for my children? Have I been a good example for them to show love to others? Have I taught them the real meaning of love? I’m glad that we are not expected to be perfect. Hopefully, the children have learned enough about love to love me in return in spite of my own imperfections!