by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come, Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Good Manners Make Holidays More Enjoyable

         It is good that families can get together for the holidays, but it is even better when all involved in those get-togethers mind their manners.  Unfortunately, it would seem that there are those who have not learned what good manners are. It is the responsibility of parents to teach children to stop and think before they act and to set a good example.  Sometimes, in the search for enjoyment, many feel that they can throw good manners away and simply do what feels good for self.

         The basis of all good manners is kindness and consideration of others.  When we consider the comfort of self only, we are neglecting good manners.

         Both the host home and parents should set ground rules for behavior.  When visiting the home of another, we should live by the rules of that home.

Parents need to check with the host home for special rules ahead of time and talk to the children about their behavior.  The host or hostess should mention in a nice way what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.  If there are special considerations, these should be included.  For instance, elderly people, especially those who are not well, do not like loud noises.  No one likes to have others bother their belongings.

         Following are a few suggestions for the host home:

• Put breakable things out of reach of two-year olds and younger.  Understand that two-year-olds are still checking boundaries and will not obey when told one time.  They simply must be told over and over and watched to see that they obey.  Much effort can be avoided by simply putting some things away.  Make sure all medications are put safely away.
• When children age three and older bother things, simply take the time to put an arm around them and explain why those things shouldn’t be bothered.
• Be careful how guests are welcomed.  When children hear, “Just make yourselves at home”, they think you really mean it.
• Understand that most children want approval.  When children act nicely, seize the opportunity to praise them.  Once they are praised, they will begin to repeat that action.
• Treat children with respect as you would an adult.
• If possible, plan activities appropriate for children to give them something enjoyable to do while adults visit.

Here are some suggestions for the guests:

• Under no circumstances should children be allowed to open cupboards or drawers to investigate contents. 
• Children should not touch or fondle breakable objects nor bother electronic equipment.
• Children should not be allowed to run inside the house.
• Children should use “inside voices”.  They should say excuse me if they must interrupt someone who is speaking, or they should not interrupt at all.
• Children should never look in the refrigerator or help themselves to something unless invited to do so.
• Children should use good table manners.

If effort is spent planning ahead by setting ground rules and teaching manners, everyone will enjoy the time together and good memories will be formed.