Train up a child…
Why do some Teens Hurt Themselves?
Why some teens tend to self-mutilate is a mystery that has not been solved. As I researched this topic, I found that there is still much study to be done. However, in talking with individuals who work closely with teens, I found some ideas that are worth considering.
It is sad to hear about teens who cut or burn themselves. It almost seems unbelievable that they would do such a thing; yet, in one area one worker estimated that as many as 80% of high school teens were doing so.
Research shows that girls are more likely to cut themselves while boys tend to burn themselves. Razor blades are often used by girls. Boys may use cigarettes to burn spots on their arms or other body parts. Knowing the reasons for this behavior would help us know how to work with the teens.
One possible reason teens self-mutilate is that with some it is almost a bragging right—somewhat like a little boy who is proud of a black eye. With boys, especially, it may be a way to look tough.
Another possibility is that it is a way to get attention. Teens have deep emotional hurts and often don’t know how to describe what is going on because, in many cases, they don’t know why they are feeling as they do. It is a visual way of showing hurt. Parents and others can see a cut and often immediately rally around with sympathy and much attention. It can be a cry for help. Inner hurt can’t be seen, so an outer visible hurt is necessary in the teen’s mind.
It has become a fad in some situations and teens simply may be doing it to be like the others in order to “fit in” to the crowd.
Some of the research I read says that in some instances teens actually get a rush because endorphins are created. Endorphins are substances created in the body to fight depression.
Another possibility is that a teen simply hates oneself and is not pleased with the body they have. Also, sometimes self-mutilation is followed by suicide and is a sign of deep depression. When the mutilation is done on the inside of the thigh or in places that cannot be seen, the reasons would not be for attention, bragging rights, or a fad.
One bright spot in my reading was that research shows that self-mutilation usually goes away in five years.
The turmoil that teens go through cannot, in my opinion, be overestimated. Even teens who are raised in what we would call good homes still have a lot of adjusting to do. In today’s culture, there are approximately 24 million fatherless children. If teens in good homes have problems, one can only try to imagine what kids are going through who come from broken homes.
There is one sure thing that we can always count on to help our teens. We can always show them the love described in I Corinthians 13 that includes patience, long-suffering, kindness. We need to walk tenderly, side by side with our teens and be near at all times.