Category Archives: parenting

Children Need Help with Gift Giving

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Train up a child…

 

Children Need Help with Gift Giving

 

There is so very much emphasis on the excitement of children at Christmastime and the need to make sure that children get the things they desire to make them happy.  In fact, some have even said that Christmas is for children.  Truth is, Christmas is a time to recognize the birth of our Savior and it is for everyone, but we can’t help but want to make sure that children enjoy this very special time.

It is more important for children to experience the joy of giving than it is for them to enjoy the experience of getting, and the giving can make them happier than the receiving.  Some may think that this is not possible, but if we look closely with our mind’s eye, we can see that we quite often remember the gifts we gave more than the gifts we received.  It is the same with children.  Children, however, need help in their planning and giving.  This requires time, patience, and resourcefulness.

We need to take the time to help children make a gift list. This list should include parents, teachers, grandparents, and other special people in their lives.  It takes time, also, to help the children discover resources they have available such as money or materials for making gifts.  After this is done, we help the children make or purchase gifts.

It is not easy to be patient with children when we, ourselves, are so busy trying to prepare gifts for others. Time spent making a plaster of Paris handprint, a jar of brownie mix, or a jar of soup mix takes a little time that we may not feel we have available.  Making such gifts, however, provides a time of bonding and learning and is well worth the time involved. Many ideas are available on the Internet, and just looking up those ideas is a learning experience for children.

Children learn to be resourceful and at the same time are learning to manage their money as they work to provide gifts for the ones they love.  It is difficult for children to find anything to purchase with the limited funds they have. It is nice when adults help out with this problem.  Some have provided a “Holiday Store” for children.  The children go to the store with an adult and a list of names for whom they will purchase gifts.  The list also indicates the amount of money the child has to spend.  Items that have been provided by adults are available in the store, and they are priced very low so that the children can afford them. Some items are only twenty-five cents. Those on hand who volunteer to work in the store help the children count and figure how much money each thing costs and how much change they will get in return.

Who among us does not have some treasure from the past given to us by our children?  This year I hung, once again, a wreath made of plastic bags by our youngest son when he was in elementary school.  It provides another year of remembering his love for me.  I still have ornaments made of play-doh that go on the Christmas tree. They are still feeling the joy of giving as they see their mom still being happy at having received those gifts.   Christmas truly is a time to remember that it is better to give than to receive.

Check out my new book!

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Pat Lamb’s New Book ‘My Thinking Book’ is an Enriching Compendium of Hard Questions and Truthful Answers About Faith and Life for Kids.

PRESS RELEASE UPDATED: NOV 5, 2018

“My Thinking Book” from author Pat Lamb is an engaging book for young readers who enter life abuzz with the questions about life, people, and God, a question-and-answer manual where they are not only given wise, honest, scripture-based, and age-appropriate answers for a given question each day of the year, but are also encouraged to think for themselves and grow in wisdom throughout their lives.

REEDS SPRING, Mo., November 5, 2018 (Newswire.com) – Pat Lamb, a widowed grandmother and distinguished educator for over sixty years now living in Branson, Missouri, where she is a parenting columnist for local newspapers, has completed her new book “My Thinking Book”: a helpful, stimulating book for curious young thinkers.

Pat writes, “‘Why are there wars?’ ‘If I am really good, will I go to heaven?’ ‘Why are some people mean to others?’

Children have many questions! They deserve truthful answers to their questions. As they learn the truth, a foundation of understanding is being established that will last a lifetime.

This book gives truthful answers in a concise way to stimulate thinking and conversation about many topics bothering children. What a confusing world our children are facing! Often, our efforts to make everything fun and easy simply confuse children all the more. The earlier in life children can understand answers to their questions, based on the Scripture, the easier their future will be. Children are constantly required to make decisions. Without the correct knowledge, how can they make the right decisions?

“My Thinking Book” is designed for children to read for themselves or have it read to them. Unless otherwise noted, Scripture is taken from the New King James Version of the Bible. Although reading ability varies, generally, third-graders or above can read it. Parents may choose to read “My Thinking Book” to the children to provide a springboard for conversation.

A parent would do well to make “My Thinking Book” available for every child!

Pat Lamb’s new book is an instructive and much-needed guide that takes children’s prescient questions seriously and points them in the right direction for truth.

Without downplaying the complexity of life or being unnecessarily vague, Lamb speaks to children with respect, compassion, and understanding.

Readers can purchase “My Thinking Book” at bookstores everywhere, or online at the Apple iTunes store, Amazon, or Barnes and Noble, at www.patlambchristianauthor.com, or patlee@centurytel.net

Source: Covenant Books

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e-mail: patlee@centurytel.net

 

Children Can Learn to Organize

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Train up a child…

 

Children Can Learn to Organize

 

The Christmas season is a good time to teach children a lesson about organizing.  Even though they are more excited than usual at this time, they can still learn to take on some responsibilities to make Christmas a more pleasant time for themselves and others.

A good thing to keep in mind when parenting is to always have children take on the responsibilities for caring for themselves as they are able to do so.  Adults often mistakenly think they are helping their children by doing everything for them.  Children learn responsibility and become independent by caring for their own needs.  School children have people to whom they want to give a gift at Christmas, and they can plan and organize their time and resources to take care of those gifts, to a great extent, themselves.

There is nothing better for organizing than lists.  Children can make lists to examine their resources, remember the persons to whom they will give gifts, and dates for accomplishing tasks.

Most children have piggy banks and perhaps money from allowances.  They can list the amount of money they have along with ways to earn more money.  They may also have gifts they have received in the past that are unused that can be regifted to their friends. They can look through magazines such as “Family Fun” for ideas of gifts to make. Just thinking about resources brings an awareness to a child of the need to save their money for needed times.

Children should make lists of those persons to whom they want to give a gift. This list should include their teacher, Sunday School teacher, mom and dad, sisters and brothers. (Some schools request that gifts not be given to teachers, so this should be checked out before planning a gift.) After these “essential” gifts are taken care of, they can choose friends or other special people to whom they would like to give a gift.

If a gift is to be given to a teacher or church worker, dates should be written down as to programs, the last day of school before vacation, or the last event at church before Christmas.  It is easy to let these times slip up and not be ready.  If the family has a calendar on the refrigerator, as many families do, these dates could be posted there.

When the lists are done, the children can begin to purchase or make gifts and feel secure knowing they have all under control.  Children will enjoy Christmas much more if they feel that they have been useful in planning and giving.  This small lesson in organization will carry over into other areas of life and help the child to be more confident in years to come.  Mom and dad will feel less pressure in knowing that the child is taking responsibility for some of the tasks to be done.  When a child takes part in the planning and execution of the plans, that child builds self-esteem and learns the true meaning of giving at Christmas time.

Help Children be Truly Thankful

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Note:  My new book, “My Thinking Book”, has just been released.  It is a daily devotional book for children.  Check out: https://covenantbooks.newswire.com/news/pat-lambs-new-book-my-thinking-book-is-an-enriching-compendium-of-hard-20694242  It is available on my website shown below as well as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and bookstores throughout the country.

Train up a child—

Help Children be Truly Thankful

It is not easy to achieve a true thankfulness in children when they often do not understand that all they have is because of God.  Also, many children, in today’s time, have so many things that they do not understand what it means to do without, and the blessings they have are often taken for granted. We should, therefore, make sure that children understand that the holiday of Thanksgiving is for the purpose of being thankful to our Creator for our many blessings.  Secondly, we need to help children identify what their blessings are in order to be thankful for them.

There have been many good books written about the holiday we are about to observe.  We are fortunate, in our area, to have an excellent library where many books are available for parents to read to children, or for the children to read for themselves.  The first chapter of the book of Genesis in the Bible is a good chapter to read to children to let them know of God’s creation.  When children are told that God created everything, they are apt to say something like, “Did God make cars, too?”  It needs to be explained that God made the things that are used in making the cars, like the metal, and he also gave man the knowledge to invent them.

Once children understand the source of their blessings, they need to identify those blessings.  One way to help children be aware of their helpful conveniences is to play a “hide and thank” game.  Each day the parents could take one thing that is important to the children and hide it until the child misses it.  Keep it hidden long enough to let the child experience the inconvenience of not having it; then, give it to the child and say something like, “I’ll bet you are thankful that you have _______!”  After a few days of this, the children catch on to the fact that they have many things to be thankful for.  It has been said that “We never miss the water until the well runs dry.” That is probably true and the idea applies to many more things than just water.  I’m not sure it is possible to be truly thankful unless we know what it is to do without.

Our country has experienced many tragedies in the recent years.  Many people involved in those tragedies had perhaps never known what it was like to do without many of the things we take for granted each day.  We need to teach our children to not only be thankful for what we have, but to be prepared to do without many of those things. We have no guarantee that we will have them the rest of our lives.  Those of us who lived during the Great Depression know that it is possible to survive on much less than most of us enjoy at this time.  We have much for which to be thankful.  Let us pattern the example of thankfulness for our children. Just as we expect people to be thankful for any gift we may give them, God also expects us to be thankful for the gifts he gives to us.

 

patlee@centurytel.net

www.patlambchristianauthor.com

 

 

 

Give Your Children the Best Gift

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Train up a child…

 

Give your Children the Best Gift

 

What is the best gift you can give your children?  Many experts agree that the best thing that parents and grandparents can give children is their time.  Yet, as the holiday season approaches, we find ourselves wanting more time, and we find it more difficult to give the time to children that they need.

How can we give more time to children, and what are the benefits of doing so?

One of the easiest ways to give more time to children is to include them in the activities we do. The benefits of giving more time are many.  Three of those benefits are bonding, learning more about our children, and giving the children a feeling of worth.

As we include children in activities, they relax and open up in more ways than they normally would. Children most often say and do the things that they know their parents expect of them.  This prevents adults from knowing what they are really thinking and feeling.  When they relax in activities, they drop their guard and we find out more about them. We are often surprised to find that our children may be thinking and feeling something entirely different from what we had thought.  This gives us clues as to their needs in guidance as they grow.

As children assist in activities such as decorating, baking, making gifts, shopping, or other holiday happenings, they bond with adults in achieving the common goal of making others happy. While doing so, they can discuss how they think the recipient will respond, and they feel happy about achieving something good with their parents. Little faces light up in anticipation of the happiness they are creating, and a special closeness is achieved as feelings of accomplishment are shared.

When parents take time to include children in activities, the children feel that their parents think their ideas are valuable.  They develop a feeling of worth because mom or dad wanted them to help. The opposite is true when they are pushed aside.  Children then feel that their ideas and help are not wanted or needed.  They look to find their own activities aside from parents. Children have an inner desire to feel that they are valuable to someone.  No toy or game purchased for a child can make up for that feeling.

It is not difficult to include children in activities.  The key is to find something within the child’s ability.  There is always something they can do if it is no more than holding a finger on the ribbon while a bow is being tied.  For Thanksgiving Dinner, children can help set the table and participate in ways to help in preparation of food.  The quality of the dish is not as important as the quality of child we are raising.

There is nothing we can buy or do for our children that is any more important than spending time with them.

 

Make a List and Check it Twice

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Make a List and Check it Twice

 

It seems that almost any direction we look, we are reminded that it is time to start preparing for the holidays!  It is easy to get caught up in all of the excitement and forget that the children need to be prepared for the season also.  Instead of just letting them “come along for the ride”, this year, why not prepare them to be an active part of all of the activities?

Checklists are wonderful for saving time and making sure we don’t forget something.  Here is a checklist for making sure all other lists are made!

  • Sit down with the children right away and explain the true meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas.
  • Make sure the children understand how our country was started and the story of the first Thanksgiving.
  • Talk with the children about what they have to be thankful for and help them make out a list of those things.
  • Read some of the Psalms from the Bible to the children that tell us to give thanks.
  • List with the children the ways the family has been blessed.
  • List with the children the ways the community and country have been blessed.
  • Tell the Christmas story to the children.
  • Read the Christmas story to the children from Luke 2 in the Bible.
  • Explain to the children that Santa is not real.Tell them that talking about Santa is a game that adults play to have fun with the children.
  • Ask the children whether they want to play the game of Santa, and if so, make sure they understand it is only a game.
  • Have the children make a list of people who are especially meaningful to them. Ask if they want to give those people a gift? If so, make a gift list.
  • Have the children list their resources for giving.This can include money they have saved or other things they may have to give.
  • Explain that the reason we give is to show love to others.
  • Explain that love includes self-sacrifice and concern for the happiness of others.
  • Explain that gifts can be things we do for others as well as what we may make or buy.
  • Explain that the Bible tells us that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
  • Tell some stories of personal past Christmas experiences to the children.
  • Read some good Christmas stories to the children.
  • Talk about decorations and decide each person’s task.

You probably noted that I did not mention having the child make a list for self wants.  The emphasis should be on giving to others, not getting for self.  Making a want list may be alright, but that is not what we should stress.  We can’t teach children to think of others when all we do is tell them to think of themselves.  We can’t have it two ways.  It is preferable for children to grow up thinking of what they can give, not just what they can get.

 

The Value of Homework

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The Value of Homework

 

Homework is a good thing.  No matter how much children moan and groan about it, there is no doubt that it is good for them.  Of course it is important to have the right amount of assignments.  It is not good to overload students, but if the right amount of homework is given, there are many benefits derived for the student.

Homework is necessary to give practice of skills taught in school. Teachers do not have enough time to give adequate practice. More and more topics are added for teachers to teach, yet nothing is ever subtracted and no additional time is allowed. Homework is good to help the students develop proper habits of study and self-discipline.  As parents either assist or observe their children doing homework, they come to a better understanding of the learning ability and achievement levels the children possess.

There was a time in education that educators thought that if a child simply understood subject matter, practice was not necessary.  I remember having a math textbook when I taught second grade that required the children to complete as few as six problems each day after the concept was taught. I knew that the children needed more, so I kept extra math papers available all the time for the children to choose and work as their time permitted.  Math, reading, and writing are skills.  All skills require practice because they involve more than understanding. They involve the use of nerves and muscles.  Just because a person can read and understand music, for instance, doesn’t mean that the person can play the piano or any other instrument.  It is the same with the skills of reading, math, and writing. Practice is necessary to become proficient.

As I have taught GED classes through the years, I have found that many students test higher in applied math than the actual computation.  I tell them that I suspect they sat in class, listened to the teacher explain how to do problems, and then said, “I don’t have to do my homework.  I understand that.”  They usually look at me rather sheepishly and say, “You got that right. How did you know?”  Such students indicate that they have the ability to understand but did not practice problems enough to be able to do them satisfactorily.

Some children do well in early grades and don’t do homework, then find out later that some subjects, such as algebra, require constant homework. Unfortunately, since they didn’t do homework early on, they haven’t really learned good study habits and self-discipline to buckle down and do what they need to do.  It is important to have a set time even in the lower grades to make homework a habit. If homework is not assigned, the parents need to come up with things the children can do to add to what they are learning in school.  For instance, if the children are learning about conservation, they might require them to look at or read something from the Missouri Conservation magazine.  They can check the library for more information or take a walk with dad to see examples of good and bad conservation.

Some may think that their children don’t need to do any homework since they finish quickly at school.  We should never let our children think that they are smarter than others and that they don’t need to learn more than they already know.  There is always plenty more to be learned about every subject. Parents are teachers, too, and parents need to help children develop a curiosity for learning by making suggestions or finding projects for the children to do to enrich what they have already learned.

We learn a great deal about our children as they do homework. Perhaps we learn even more than any report card can show. We can assess how the child reasons, the interests of the child, and become closer to the child.  Homework can be a wonderful together time and learning time for both parents and children.

 

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Teaching Children to Work in a Team

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Teaching Children to Work in a Team

 

Most of the inventions we enjoy today are a result of teamwork.  There was a time when Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Edison could take credit for inventions, but the day of a person working alone to invent is practically over.  Now engineers brainstorm, compare ideas, evaluate plans, and come up with solutions as they work together.

Effective training of children to fit in today’s business world includes the teaching of teamwork. Not only does the business world require teamwork, but teachers work as teams in education.  Quite often, a person is hired in a line of work based on whether that person can fit into the team currently working.

For children to become good team workers, they must first understand the importance of doing so. Opportunities need to be given both at home and in school for children to develop skills in teamwork.  Sports activities play a huge role in teaching teamwork.

Children need to be told that teamwork is necessary in today’s world.  By incorporating the children in the reasons for almost any task, more can be accomplished. The cell phone is a good example to illustrate that inventions are done in a group.  No one person takes credit for inventing the cell phone.  It is because of the teamwork of NASA that we have many of today’s wonderful technological inventions.  The satellites in the sky are necessary for our GPS systems. Those satellites are a result of teamwork.  Ask the children if they can imagine one person being able to put a satellite in the sky!

Team activities can be provided in the classroom and at home.  The family can work together on projects.  A teacher can give an assignment for children to figure out together. It doesn’t take long to discover that some children do not want to work with others.  Some children are born as “loners” and some children are simply more social and love to be around others.  It takes skillful guidance on the part of parents and teachers to help the “loner” open up and the social person to perhaps stand down.  However, it is this very activity that teaches children to work in a group.  Some children will not want to share credit for achievements while others will want to sit and let someone else do all the work.  Teachers and parents need to stay on top of the activities to make sure all are contributing to the efforts being made.

Sports activities require teamwork for winning.  The most successful teams are those whose members have learned to work together. This is one of the best justifications for sports in schools.  The peer pressure of other members of a team often works in a positive way when a game is won or lost.

Learning to be a good team worker goes far in making sure a child becomes successful in life.  No matter how good an idea an individual may have, it takes more than one person to make that idea marketable.  If we can help our children learn to work in a team, our little creative geniuses are more likely to get along well as adults.

Stress the Positive

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Train up a child…

 

Stress the Positive

 

When raising children, we sometimes find ourselves in situations that are undesirable. There are some things that simply cannot be prevented or avoided.  Society often throws customs and traditions our way that affect children.  Children, themselves, do not always perform as we would like and we are tempted to harshly scold them for poor performance. When these challenges occur, some parents stress the negative instead of the positive.  Some parents spend their time and energy trying to shelter their children from the inevitable.  The best thing to do, in my opinion, is to be truthful with the children about the negative, but put the major emphasis on the positive aspects of the occasion.

Halloween has a dark origin. It is based on the rituals of the druids who lived long ago.  There may be a few people in our country who actually associate the two things, but it is doubtful that the thought ever crosses the mind of most of our children. To most children, it is a time to dress up in a costume, have fun, and get candy.  There is nothing wrong with dressing up in a costume that does not reflect the negative aspects of the holiday.  In fact, it is good for a child to imagine they are someone or something else. It expands their thinking and understanding of others. Getting candy once a year is not harmful unless permissive parents allow their children to have too much candy at other times.

Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny certainly detract from the importance of Christmas and Easter.  They become an even greater distraction if we overemphasize them.  If we tell the children that talking about them is a game we play; then, we can move on and emphasize the real truth of the holidays. If we talk about them too much, or if we forbid the children to have anything to do with the custom, their minds become fixated on them and they want to play the game all the more.

When children “mess up” and make mistakes, it is best to acknowledge the mistakes and look for the positive to emphasize.  As a teacher, I have heard endless stories about how a child was embarrassed by being scolded for mistakes.  Those embarrassing moments are like chains that keep a child from wanting to break loose and try again to succeed.  They fear the hurt of failure.  On the other hand, when a child is praised for doing something, that is the very thing the child wants to do again in hope of more praise. As the child repeats the action, that child gains more expertise in the task.

Let’s face it!  There are some things we will never be able to change.  We waste our time and energy in trying to do so.  We can, however, emphasize the positive of situations to help a child grow in the truth.  There will probably be a Santa, Easter bunny, and witches at Halloween for a long time to come.  Our children don’t have to be caught up in the things of society.  They can look at such things knowing there is something better. When they make mistakes, they need not fear a harsh scolding, but rather they can progress in the positive aspect of the situation.  By accentuating the positive, we eliminate the negative.

How to Help Children Plan Ahead

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How to Help Children Plan Ahead

 

My husband and I were privileged to attend a workshop on poverty at the College of the Ozarks. One of the things we learned is that people in poverty usually just think about getting through one day at a time. In light of this fact, it would seem that it is very important to teach our children to think ahead and plan for upcoming happenings.

There are at least three things involved in planning ahead.  We need to know what is apt to happen in the future.  We need to know what our resources are, and we need to plan ways to use those resources to meet the needs the future events will necessitate.

Fall is a good time of year to teach planning ahead.  Even nature gives us illustrations as we watch animals scurry about storing food for the winter.     Scripture tells us in Proverbs 6:6-8, “Go to the ant you sluggard, consider its ways and be wise!  It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.”

Instead of sheltering our children from unpleasant happenings, we need to let them know the important things that are happening in the world.  We need to tell them in such a way as to keep them from panicking, but at the same time letting the children know that these are things to contend with.   Nature presents additional future events for which we should plan.  The cold of winter, ice storms, and tornados are common in the Midwest.  Earthquakes are common many places.  When we tell children that everything is going to be all right, we are not telling the truth. If children believe this, they see no need to think ahead and plan for events.

A “sit-down” session with children is appropriate for planning ahead.  It is helpful for children to write a list, if they are old enough to write, of events to plan for as well as a list of resources and the plan itself.  Parents need to discuss with children the location of resources such as flashlights and candles in case the electricity goes off in a storm.  Parents need to be honest about the money situation and enlist the help of the children in deciding needs versus wants.  Letting the children help in preparing a budget for the family sets a good example of what they should do when they have a home of their own, and the children will feel like they are part of the family team.

The actual plans of what to do in the various events need to be reviewed occasionally.  Not only should children be helped to plan with the family for natural occurrences and worldwide events, but they should also be helped to make study plans for the school year.  Upcoming events in the family need to be discussed and planned ahead as well.

Discussing future events, and planning for those events, actually helps children feel more secure. It takes less time to plan ahead than it does to wait until we are in the middle of something and then try to deal with it.  All in all, it just makes life go more smoothly!