Tag Archives: elementary school teaching

Dealing With Attentiveness

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Dealing With Attentiveness

Train up a child…

Dealing with Attentiveness

         I don’t claim to be an expert on Attention Deficit Disorder, but sixty-two years of teaching experience should count for something.  When I first started teaching, a child was given a spanking for not paying attention in class.  Now, a child is often given medication for the same problem.  Many people feel that the medication is over-prescribed.  It becomes a real quandary for parents to know what to do when they are told that their child has ADD.  In making decisions about such a child, it would be well to check to see if the child is consistent in not paying attention, check the environment of the child, and make sure the child is not getting caffeine or too much sugar and getting proper nutrition.

         During my 20 plus years teaching GED classes, I have often had students tell me that they have been in special education classes and have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.  When I worked with them, I found they were far behind where they should have been at the time they dropped out of school. I believe that a few of them truly had a physical problem affecting their ability to focus on their work.  However, most seemed able to focus when they chose to do so.  In one case, a student told me he had ADD.  When I asked him what he really liked to do, he told me that he was a cook at a restaurant and liked to work on cars.  “Do you have a hard time paying attention to cooking and working on cars?” I asked.  “No”, he said, “that’s something I like to do”.  If a person can pay attention at some times, but not other times, it is a pretty good indication that medication is not needed.

         Our education system has taken on an attitude of classroom management that is often very distracting to any student.  Many classrooms are far too noisy for children to concentrate.  In my orientation of new students for GED, I often hear a loud sigh of relief when I tell them that I don’t allow anyone to waste time and steal time from other students by being disruptive in the class.  I have been surprised by responses to the question on their enrollment paper that asks, “How can the teacher best help you to learn?”  Many new students have written that they would like a quiet room with a good learning environment. Several students have told how their classrooms were often too noisy when they were in school.

         Children should not be allowed to have caffeine at all.  Most soda has caffeine, and many children are allowed to drink that soda.  Sugar can cause a child to have a rush of energy that is hard to control.  Proper nutrition plays an important role in a child’s ability to concentrate.

         It is amazing to me, that when children are diagnosed with ADD, that acceptable means of dealing with it are not addressed.  Even if medication is required in a few cases, parents and teachers should continue to address the causes and make accommodations for dealing with the problem.  Until the problem is taken care of, teens and adults who have been diagnosed with ADD should not be behind the steering wheel of a car.  If they can’t pay attention in school, why do we think they can pay attention while driving a vehicle?  

         For the most part, we need to understand that treating the symptom does not correct the cause. There can be no harm done in checking a child’s nutrition and making sure s/he does not have too much caffeine or sugar.  Rather than simply giving in to the idea that a child can’t pay attention, we need to decide if the child simply won’t pay attention. It would be nice if we could get into a child’s mind and see clearly what is going on there.  Since we can’t, we simply must use our best wisdom and understanding to provide the help needed.

Children and Learning Disabilities

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble. www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Children and Learning Disabilities

Train up a child…

Children and Learning Disabilities

       We hear a great deal about children who have learning disabilities.  There are children who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Behavior Disorder, Dyslexia, and recently I heard of an instance where children were being diagnosed with obedience disorder.  One has to wonder about the authenticity of many of these diagnoses. 

         With the wide use of drugs and alcohol during recent years, we have to consider the possibility that many babies have been born carrying the effects of the usage of these substances by their parents.  No doubt, there has been some effect upon the ability of those children to cope with life. On the other hand, one can’t help but wonder if many children are labeled with the terms mentioned simply because those working with the children can come up with no way to deal with the needs the children have. In addition to the effects of substance abuse, children are also affected by nutrition and inherent interests.

         I had occasion several years ago to visit a neonatal ward in a hospital that specialized in babies born with problems.  It was horrible to watch little babies, so small you could hold them in your hand, shiver and shake with withdrawal symptoms from drugs because their mothers had used drugs while carrying them. When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation, we learned that some parents would put alcohol in the baby bottles on the weekend to put them out while they had a good time.  Now, I know of homes where children are constantly with cigarette smoke and they are getting the effects of the secondhand smoke.  This affects their health and possibly they have withdrawal symptoms needing “a smoke” during school hours.  Research shows that a large percentage of retardation is caused by mothers using alcohol while they were pregnant. There is much evidence to indicate that substances affect a child’s behavior and learning ability.

         When I was teaching GED classes,  I had a student enroll in my GED class who told me that he drank two 2-liter bottles of Mountain Dew and smoked two packs of cigarettes each day.  He couldn’t understand why he was having a difficult time sitting in class and concentrating on studying!  Although this sounds extreme, it is not an isolated incident. Caffeine is not a good thing for children and too much caffeine and sugar is not good for adults.  (Four grams of sugar equals one teaspoon.  One large Mountain Dew has about 23 teaspoons of sugar.) Many adults allow children to drink a great deal of soda with caffeine, give them large amounts of sugar, and do not watch the diets of their children.  What a child consumes certainly affects learning and behavior.         

         When God created us, He didn’t create us with the idea in mind that all were to fit in a mold of behavior expected by the educational personnel in today’s schools.  I’m not sure that our ideas of how children are to respond to our teaching are how God intended all children to respond. Children are born with dominance in three or four intelligences. Children who have the “body” intelligence will naturally find it more difficult to sit quietly and pay attention in school.

         There is probably no person alive who does not have some difficulty at some time or another in learning something.  We have to find ways to work with ourselves to cope with the difficulties we have in order to learn what we need to survive.  As parents and teachers, we need to help children learn to cope with their challenges.  Unfortunately, labeling a child with a disability name often enables a child to feel excused for lack of accomplishment.  Children grow up thinking they can’t do some things and they simply stop trying. We need to use common sense in working with children when they have challenges to learning. 

Who’s Right? or What’s Right?

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Who’s Right or What’s Right?

Train up a child…

Who’s Right?  Or What’s Right?

         It is very easy for parents and children to get into power struggles, and each try to prove that s/he is right.  It is a challenge to parents to avoid these struggles and work with children as a partner to determine what is right.  It requires putting one’s own ego aside, using diligence in the choice of words, and knowing the right thing toward which to work.

         We often make the mistake as parents in thinking that because we won the immediate battle that we have won the war.  This is far from the truth.  Not only does winning a battle fail to guarantee future acceptable behavior in a child, but it often creates resentment and a feeling of “I’ll prove I’m right.” No one likes to have to “give in” and children are no exception. When required to do so, children often harbor resentment. On the other hand, if parent and child can reason together and come up with solutions, those solutions tend to stick, and the child has learned how to deal with the same problem in the future.  It is too bad that many parents let their egos stand in the way and won’t listen to a child’s reasoning. If parents can be patient and humble themselves and admit that they may not have all the answers, children tend to respect them more and are inclined to discuss problems in a reasonable manner.  Parents often think that respect is gained by demanding it.  The truth is that respect is gained when the parent is patient and kind and willing to listen to a child.

         If a parent is willing to admit that they are wrong, the child will respect them more.  The child feels good about self for having convinced the parent, and the parent will wait until a future time to have the upper hand.  No one likes to be told that s/he is wrong all the time.  There are times when the child is right, and we adults are wrong.  Parents may be afraid they will lose respect, but the truth is that more respect will be gained, and the child will feel freer to discuss things with parents if they feel the parents will listen to them.  

         When a child is small, parents have the right to demand proper behavior, and throughout the teen years there will be times when reasoning does not work.  For the safety and well-being of the child, the parent may need to insist on having their own way.  Whenever possible, however, reasoning with a child is a better way to teach. Demanding certain behavior works for only a short time.  We need to subdue our thirst for control to the level that will allow us to reason with children to teach truths to last for a lifetime.  It is not important to know who is right, but it is very, very important for a child to know what is right.

A Real Necessity

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; When the Stars Fall Down; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Real Necessity

         There is one thing that is so very important for the success of a child in school and life.  Without this, a child will be stuck on approximately the third-grade level in math and not continue to progress. That child will be unable to manage money when s/he becomes an adult although the desire may be there to do so.

         What is that one thing?  A child must know the multiplication tables!

         It seems like such a “no-brainer” to say that children should learn their multiplication tables. However, during the 20+ years of teaching GED classes, I observed over and over that this vital part of the education of my students had not been fulfilled.  I have had students from at least ten different school systems including out of state, and the story is the same.  I have had nearly 1000 students enroll in the classes I have taught and probably 90% of them did not know their multiplication tables.  Many of these students were on college level in reading indicating that the ability to learn was certainly there.

         What accounts for the fact that the multiplication tables have not been learned?  In my opinion, there are several reasons (or perhaps excuses).  Parents often leave this kind of thing up to the teachers.  The teachers are pressured to cover a certain amount of material in large classes where individual attention is not possible.  Modern math, several years ago, promoted the philosophy that if a student understood math, drill was not necessary.  Our trend for fast food and fast learning tends to cause a child to expect learning to be easy. Attitudes of “somebody owes me something,” and “I am not responsible for myself,” cause a child to believe that s/he can get by without knowing the multiplication tables.  Social promotion has fostered that idea further by letting the child know that s/he will go on to the next grade whether or not all the material has been mastered.  

         What kind of logic says that if a child can’t do third grade work, that child can do fourth grade work?  Students grow up thinking they are dumb and just can’t “get it” simply because they have not been required to “get it”.  Some students go year after year in school, getting in deeper and deeper water and feeling more and more frustrated because they can’t handle the math that requires knowing the multiplication tables.

         In school, the multiplication tables are usually introduced at the end of second grade.  In real life, we can begin working with children when they are toddlers to help them understand some number concepts.

         When playing with small children, we can simply provide information by saying such things as, “Oh, I see two blue blocks here and two more blue blocks there.  That makes four blocks.  Two times two is four.”  We need to constantly include such comments in conversation to help children become aware of numbers.

         A great deal of math can be taught with a bag of M & M’s or a bag of jellybeans.  They can be sorted into groups and counted to see how many groups of different numbers and colors can be made. When they have succeeded in learning some of the facts, they can be rewarded by allowing them to eat the candy.

         We need to require older children to write the multiplication tables over and over.  The more senses we use in learning, the faster we learn.  By writing, the child is using touch and sight.  If the child says them aloud while writing, that child is also using hearing. 

         Spanking a child to learn is not appropriate, although it may be appropriate to spank a child to get that child to take time to do homework and try to learn.  Drill is appropriate.  There are many ways and opportunities to help the children with this vital information.  All the thousands of dollars and all the new programs for education do very little good with math if a child does not know these basic facts. 

         Parents, grandparents, and teachers, it is so very important to make sure that your third and fourth graders learn their multiplication tables! 

Children and Santa

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way, My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon.com; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Children and Santa

       For a long time, Santa has been our society’s focal point of Christmas.  He, no doubt, has sold many million dollars worth of toys.  He has produced much laughter.  He has caused the eyes of children to light up.  In reality, he has been the only reason many people observe Christmas.

         What is the current status of Santa?  Our computer-literate generation of children is not easily fooled.  In truth, how many of us grown-ups ever really believed in Santa?  Some children were fooled simply because they believed that their parents would never lie to them.  Others believed because they thought that by believing, they might get more gifts. Many of us could easily see the impossibility of someone flying around the whole world in one night and stopping at each house and going down each chimney.  We felt that it was insulting our intelligence to expect us to believe such a far-out story.  

         Today, we have many fat Santas at malls, department stores, parades, etc.  Do we really think that our children are not intelligent enough to figure out that they are too big to fit in a chimney?  Even a toddler can question why there are so many Santas.  

         A bigger question involves the feelings of a child who truly believes in Santa because he trusts his parents to never lie, and then finds out that the parents did, indeed, lie to him/her.  What happens, then, when the parents tell the child about an invisible Jesus?  For that matter, can the child believe the parents at any time if they deceived them with a Santa?  

         Our children cannot be shielded from Santa.  Our society sees to it that Santa is visible over and over.  It is a situation we must deal with.  We don’t want to rob our children of the fun of Christmas, but, at the same time, we don’t want our children to lose trust in us. A parent cannot avoid making a decision as to how to handle Santa.

         One idea for parents is to tell the children that to pretend there is a Santa is a fun game that is played at Christmastime.  Just as children play pretend in other areas, parents play pretend with the child about Santa. When little girls play pretend “mommy” with dolls, or little boys may play pretend” soldier with army toys, they do not really think they are grown.  It is alright to play pretend as long as children can come back to reality. This stimulates creativity. By letting the children know up front that Santa is a pretend game, future disappointment is eliminated.  It would be a good idea to explain that Santa represents giving and making others happy.  That is something that Jesus wants us to do. 

         Santa will probably be around for a long time to come, but deceiving children should end. We should never lie to children!   

         It is important that we create a pleasing experience for children at Christmas without leaving them with the feeling at a later time that they have been deceived.  Different personalities handle this in different ways.  Ultimately, whatever means is used, children should be left with understamding the real meaning of Christmas.  Children need to understand that Christmas is a celebration of the time that God sent his only son into the world to show His love for us.  

Christmas Memories

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Christmas Memories

         Memories of childhood greatly influence decisions of adults.  That is why it is so important for parents and grandparents to make every effort to ensure good experiences for children that will create a good foundation for adulthood.  Christmas is a perfect time for doing so.

         Memories don’t necessarily have to be fun memories.  How a family works together in tough times is a memory that provides direction for a person in adulthood when that person faces difficult times.  Valuable memories do not necessarily require money.  How gifts are given from the heart at Christmas teaches a child that gifts should be given in love and do not necessarily need to be expensive.

         Those of us who lived during the years of the Great Depression are not as alarmed about the state of the nation’s economy because our memories teach us that we can survive well without many of the things we have come to enjoy.  I’m sure that many others remember, as I do, having a cedar tree cut from the woods for a Christmas tree.  Our tree was often decorated with red and green construction paper chains made in school by cutting strips and pasting the ends together in circles.  We would interlock the red in green, then the green in red, etc.  We made snowflakes by folding white paper and cutting it in various designs.  We would hang the snowflakes on the branches of the tree.  Sometimes, we would make strands of cranberries to drape around the tree.  We always felt important for contributing to the decorations.  

         A few years ago, our youngest son and his wife moved from Kentucky to Arkansas just before Christmas.  We spent Christmas with them sitting among unpacked boxes.  All Christmas decorations were packed away.  On Christmas Eve, we looked at each other and I could tell that our son was feeling a little apologetic for the situation.  I thought hard about what could be done.  I found a pen, reached in a box, pulled out some packing paper, and said, “We each have to make our own stocking.”  We found some scissors, designed our stockings, and laid them on the hearth of the fireplace.  I felt good when I heard our son chuckle.  A memory had been created.

         When my husband and I were working on the Navajo Reservation at Lukachukai, AZ, we had a big snow storm one Christmas.  The mail came only three times a week and during the storm, it could not get through at all. No gifts from our homes came in time for Christmas. We had already given each other our gifts thinking there would be more from our homes in MO and NE to open at Christmas.  On Christmas morning, we sat looking at each other and a bare tree.  That is a memory we will never forget, but it made us appreciate each other more.

         We can be very creative in making memories for children.  Sometimes it is a good thing to be short of money.  It causes us to be more resourceful.  We spoil our own Christmas when we place too much emphasis on “things”.  We should never forget that people are more important than things.  The real basis of the Christmas season is love.  When couples argue over how much money to spend, unpleasant memories are created for their children.  We should not be stingy, but we should never buy beyond our means.  We need to learn to make good use of what we have.  By doing so, we create good memories for children and set a good example for them.

Fostering an Attitude of Gratitude

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….)

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Fostering an Attitude of Gratitude

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Are We “Passing the Buck” in Disciplining Children?

         Children go to school and the school personnel say, “Why don’t the parents discipline their children?”  The children go home and the parents say, “Isn’t that school disciplining my children?”  The children go to church activities and the workers there wonder, “Aren’t these children getting any discipline at home or school?”  Children go out in public places and folks say, “These children are so undisciplined! Why doesn’t someone discipline these children nowadays?”

         Whose responsibility is it to discipline children?  I submit that it is the responsibility of those in charge wherever the children are.  Of course, the ones most responsible are the parents.  In addition to the discipline at home, it is the parents’ responsibility to make sure they are getting disciplined when someplace other than with the parents.  

Why do people not accept this responsibility?

         School personnel are highly restricted in the kinds of discipline they can administer.  This causes those in charge to be hesitant to step up to the plate and do what is necessary.  I am impressed to see how creative many teachers have become in helping the children behave correctly.  Still, often more discipline is needed than the children are getting.

         Church workers often hesitate to discipline for fear the children will not return to church.  “If the children don’t come back to church, how can we teach them?”  The truth of the matter is that unless we teach them and discipline them, what good is it for them to come back to church?  They are there to receive discipline and correction as well as knowledge.  By not disciplining the children, we are in reality teaching them that they can behave in unacceptable ways and get by with it. They may actually be thinking, “If they let me act like this at church, it must be all right to act this way all the time”.

         When children visit another person’s home or a public place, they need to be taught to observe the rules of that location.  Those in charge have the right to expect children to observe those rules.  

         Each of us needs to live up to the responsibility of disciplining children when they are under our care.  If we tell a child to do something, we should see to it that it is done.  Follow-through is probably the single most important thing we can do to teach a child to act properly.  For example, if we tell a child not to run, we should not let that child run.  If we don’t care that he/she runs, we shouldn’t give the instruction in the first place.  Unfortunately, it is usually the adult who gives in rather than the child.  What can we do in a situation like this?  We should love the children enough to risk not being liked.  We need to follow-through, get the child, take the child back to the place where he started running and walk with the child.  It may take a few times, but the child will get the message that obedience is a must.

         An undisciplined child is an unhappy child.  A disciplined child usually has good self-esteem because he/she has a sense of doing right.  Children cannot feel self-worth if they are always being looked upon with disdain due to poor behavior.  We really help children when we discipline them.  When there is no discipline, children become like little wild animals and are always looking for something to make them feel good.  We are created to have a good feeling when we do what is right, and when we know that what we have done is right. In other words, it just feels good to be good.

Knowing About the Past can Help Children with the Future

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

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Knowing About the Past Can Help Children with the Future

         It is unfortunate that many children are growing up with little or no knowledge of the past.  If children are knowledgeable about the past, they are more apt to appreciate what they now enjoy.  In addition, parents and grandparents can be drawn closer to children as the children learn to better understand those older folks. Learning about the resourcefulness and sacrifices of the past motivates children to become more resourceful and less demanding of conveniences.  The Thanksgiving season provides a good opportunity to delve into the past as we teach children about the pilgrims, the first Thanksgiving, and the early lifestyles of parents and grandparents.

         Grandparents can play an important role in assisting parents tell stories from their childhood. Unfortunately, many older people seem to feel that their job is done and do not make the effort to help bring up children.  Grandparents need to tell children of their happy times as well as the sad times they have experienced.

         Many older grandparents lived during the Great Depression.  Personally, I remember seeing a soup truck come to our little town, Verona, MO, and people line up behind it for a bowl of soup.  I remember the rationing stamps we had for sugar, gas, and other things.  Many children find it hard to believe that we could not have bubble gum because all the rubber was needed for tires for war equipment.  Children bought saving stamps to help fund WWII.  The blackout nights when everyone had to turn off their lights at a certain time for fear that enemy planes could see them and drop bombs were scary times that should be told to children.  

         Children find it amazing that older folks did not have computers, cell phones, and many other things they take for granted.  They need to know how older folks survived without running water, electricity, and indoor plumbing.  It was in my dad’s lifetime that automobiles were invented.  To imagine living without these conveniences is an exercise in creative thinking.

         One very important subject to cover is the role of our military in securing our freedom.  We are fortunate to live in an area where much attention is paid to our men and women who have fought for us. A Veteran’s Museum is an excellent place to take children. 

         Great books are available in local libraries to read to children about Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, many schools are not including much about how this country got started. Teachers are so pressed to cover certain things that they often do not have the time to adequately cover this topic.

         Making sure that children are taken to places to learn about the past and telling stories from the past go a long way in developing understanding and right attitudes in children.  The attitude of gratitude and resourcefulness become bricks in the foundation that children need to face the future.

“Why is this Happening to Me?”

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By Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me: When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.c

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A Thanksgiving Story

            Here is a story you can share about Thanksgiving. Reading or telling this story will help children appreciate what others have gone through in the past and how it affects us now.

Why is This Happening to Me?

            About four hundred years ago, there were some Indian tribes who lived in what is now Massachusetts.  White people did not yet live in this country, but some had been here exploring new lands. One time a ship carrying white men came to explore the coast.  They were fascinated with the Indians.  They decided to capture some and take them back to England to show people there what Indians looked like. A young man named Squanto was one of the Indian boys captured.

            While in England, the men decided to teach the Indian boys they captured to speak English. When Squanto had learned enough English, they took him back with them to what is now our country to use him as an interpreter and a guide as they continued exploring.

            While Squanto was back here in what is now America, he was tricked by some other white men and taken to Spain to be sold as a slave. Some monks bought him, and he lived with them for a time and learned about the “white man’s God”.  After living at the monastery for some time, someone took him back to England and from there he was taken to America to be used as an interpreter and guide once again.

            On this final trip back to our country, he did such a good job as interpreter and guide, that those who were exploring decided to let Squanto return to his tribe.  When he arrived at the place where his tribe lived, he found that his whole tribe had died of a disease, and he was the only Patuxent Indian left!

            Squanto moved in with another tribe of Indian people whose chief was named Samoset.  It was a short time later that the pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock. The pilgrims had prayed and prayed about going some place where they could have freedom to worship God as they felt they should.  They had asked God to watch over them and care for them.  Imagine how surprised they were when they arrived and met Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English!

            Squanto moved to the village that the pilgrims started.  He lived with the pilgrims and taught them to hunt, plant, fish, and make treaties with other tribes of Indians so they could live peacefully together. The winters were very harsh and many of the pilgrims died during the first year.  They did not have medicines then like we have now, and their food was scarce.  Some people starved to death. 

            Squanto died in 1622.  He asked Governor Bradford to pray for him that he might go to the Englishman’s God in heaven.

            Had it not been for Squanto, it’s possible that none of the pilgrims would have survived.  He played a very important part in our country’s history.

Note:  It is well that we remember this story.  It might be a good idea to clip it and keep it for future use.  I have used it before and plan to use it again.  It is a story we all need to know and remember.  

            After telling the story, discuss it with those present.  Here are some questions that may be used for discussion:

  • How do you think Squanto and the other boys felt when they were captured?
  • Do you think it was easy for Squanto to learn English?
  • Do you think Squanto ever said to himself, “Why is this happening to me?”
  • What would have probably happened to Squanto if he had not been captured?
  • What do you think the pilgrims were thinking when they arrived and found Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English?
  • Do you think God worked in Squanto’s life for a purpose?
  • Do you think God has a purpose for your life?

“As the Twig is Bent”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; patlambchristianauthor.co

Train up a child…

“As the Twig is Bent”

         I remember an instructor in our child development class at Missouri University saying, “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree”.  She went to great lengths to explain that habits that are formed in childhood last a lifetime.  If left unchecked, the inclinations that a child has are reinforced through the years as the child grows. This is true for both good and bad inclinations.  It is the task of the parent to “prune” those inclinations as needed.  The parent needs to reinforce in positive ways the good, and do their best to eliminate the bad habits.  

         A common saying about children who are displaying problematic behavior is, “Don’t worry. He will grow out of it.”  This may be true as relating to physical changes, but in most behavioral changes, children do not “grow out of it”.  The problems, in most cases, gain strength as the child grows.

         There are many examples of children growing worse when problems are left unchecked.  Take, for instance, the child who throws temper tantrums.  When parents give in to the child and do not correct this problem, the child grows up believing that he/she can get whatever is wanted by displaying acts of temper.  Another example is the demanding child who does not learn good manners.  That child becomes the adult who “railroads” through anyone or everyone to achieve wants and desires.  Poor eating habits are very difficult to correct in adulthood. Many obese people are those who as children were allowed to eat whatever they wanted. Children who are allowed to act any way they want will not grow up respecting authority.  Children who are given everything needed without having to earn anything will not grow up and suddenly say, “Oh, I can do everything for myself”.  These children will always be expecting handouts.

         Young people seem to have a feeling of indestructibility.  They tend to think, “I’m different.  That will never happen to me.”  I recently talked to a man who is now an alcoholic.  He said, “I made the same mistake so many other people have made.  I thought it would never happen to me.”  It is our duty, as parents and grandparents, to point out examples to prove that it can happen to anyone.  Ultimately, each person is individually responsible for choices made, but we need to do all we can to influence those choices and help that person grow in the right direction.

         My dad used pieces of string to illustrate to my sisters and me how habits get stronger and stronger. He handed us a piece of string and told us to break it.  It was easy.  Then he gave us two pieces of string and told us to break them.  It was harder.  Then he gave us three pieces of string and told us to break them all at the same time.  Some of us were able to do it.  By the time he got to four pieces of string, it was not possible to break them all at the same time.  “That is how it is with habits,” he said.  He told us that when you first do something wrong, it is much easier to stop than after you have continued to do it for a time.  We understood that it is best not to form bad habits.

         Raising children is somewhat like gardening.  We prune, feed, and water.  We guide and do our best to influence the choices our children make.  When they are little, we can prevent bad choices.  When they grow up, they will choose according to their own individual beliefs.  Other influences in the world compete with the influence of parents.  We simply try our very best and bathe our efforts with lots of prayer.