by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com
Train up a child…
Children and Bad Habits
Parents do a great deal of fretting about the bad habits of their children. What child at some time or another has not displayed a habit that parents wish could be broken? There are a few things that may help parents as they attempt to work with their children’s habits.
Children need to know how easily it is to form a bad habit. They must be able to recognize when a bad habit has been formed, and they may need help in breaking that habit.
One exercise to help children realize how easily it is to form a bad habit uses a few pieces of string. (Sewing thread or sticks may also be used.) Give the child one piece of string and ask the child to break it. Next, give the child two pieces of string and ask the child to break them. Continue adding another piece of string until the child is no longer able to break the string. Explain that when we do something one time, it is easy to not repeat that action, but the more we do it, the harder it is to stop the activity until finally it is almost impossible. This gives a child a basic idea of how habits are formed. At the same time this exercise is done, it would be wise to point out the bad habits that should be avoided and their consequences.
Many children are unaware that they have formed a bad habit. They don’t realize what they are doing, nor do they realize how that habit might be offending others. One example might be a child who constantly interrupts when someone else is talking. In such a case, the child will need to be told that what is being done is very annoying to others and is a bad manner. Telling a child is the first step, but it is hardly ever the last step to conquering the habit. It helps to use a piece of paper and a pencil and ask the child to keep tally of how many times the action is done. Each time the child interrupts, the child must make a mark on the piece of paper. After a period of time, ask the child to count the marks. This is a painful realization of truth. It is impossible to dispute the fact that the bad habit is there!
One activity that often helps a child overcome a bad habit is to give the child a certain number of pennies and ask the child to give one back to you each time the action is done. Set a length of time for the “game” such as a half day or a day. The child is allowed to keep the pennies that remain after the time set. Just as it takes about seven times for a child to start forming a habit, it will possibly take seven or more times of this activity to break the habit. It usually isn’t the amount of money involved as much as the challenge to the child to keep all of the pennies. As with all learning, consistency is absolutely necessary. If these activities are all done, and then the parent slips and lets the child go back to the old habit, much effort is lost.
Breaking bad habits of children can result in a much happier family. Tolerating a child who consistently bothers others is stressful. It not only bothers people around the child, but without realizing it, those same people are having ill feelings toward the child that the child senses. When a child is well-behaved, that child receives approval from others. This is a real boost to self-confidence in any child. The child also gains confidence in knowing he/she is able to overcome a trait.