It’s Not Just Child’s Play

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

It’s Not Just Child’s Play!

         It is a wonderful thing when parents will play with their children.  There is great value in time spent simply having fun with them.  This time is an opportunity for bonding, teaching, and creating memories.

Right after Christmas there is an opportunity to explore the new toys and games together.  When dad or mom get on the level of the child and explore the new possibilities of enjoyment, the child learns to appreciate the fact that the parent has interest in his/her world.  A special relationship between the child and parent is created.  This new relationship results in a better understanding of each other. 

In the event that a toy breaks, as many are apt to do, as the parent helps repair that toy, the child learns about how things work.  Parents have an opportunity to teach new words and understandings to the child.

Even if there are no new games or toys, parents and children can create their own games. Our grown children still laugh about playing “sandwich” or “slobber ear” with their dad, and I laugh when I see them play the same games with their children.  These are rough and tumble games on the floor. where all involved laugh and giggle as they try to get away from each other to avoid having an ear chewed or to become the bottom bread of a sandwich.  They laugh as “the meat” wriggles out to try to become the top bread and the bottom bread tries even harder to escape being the bottom bread.  It is important, however, for the parent to know when enough is enough in these games.  It is cruel to tickle children too much.  Also, weight of individuals needs to be considered so no person is hurt.

Many board games offer opportunities for learning as well as having fun.  Long winter evenings are well spent in playing games such as Monopoly, Balderdash, Sequence, or others with older children. In Monopoly, children learn much about money.  They learn to count the money as well as a great deal about how business works.  Balderdash is a great game for teaching writing, persuasion, and vocabulary.  Our family has laughed until we cried at some of the silly definitions written for some of the words in Balderdash. Board games designed for younger children teach a child to take turns and that they cannot always win.  They can learn to lose graciously.

Laughter is a good medicine. King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”.  Playing and laughing with our children relieves our stress as well as theirs.  We sometimes forget that children, too, have stress as they seek to please their parents and teachers.  

Time spent playing with children is a wonderful investment that yields dividends for eternity.  Children grow up so fast!  Let’s take advantage of the opportunities we have to spend time with them while we can. 

A Christmas Dinner to Remember

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

A Christmas Dinner to Remember

       I remember when our children were small how I would work so hard in the kitchen to create a “picture book” Christmas dinner.  I admit there were times when I harbored a little resentment because it seemed like the rest of the family was off in the family room or someplace else having fun while I was doing all the work!  Nevertheless, I wanted that perfect Christmas dinner, so I kept going.  By the time it was on the table, I was usually so tired that I hated to think of all the dishes that needed to be cleaned after everyone finished enjoying the food.

         There is a better way!  It was not until the children were grown with children of their own that I learned of it.  It is too bad I didn’t think of it before, but like so many others, I was so steeped in a not-so-good tradition that I didn’t think outside the box.

         When our oldest grandson was in the eighth grade, I received a call from him.  “Nana”, he said, “would you e-mail me your punch recipe?”  Our daughter had planned their Christmas dinner and each person had chosen what he or she could do.  Dylan had chosen to make the punch.  LeAndra had chosen to make the green bean casserole. (LeAndra was in the sixth grade.)  I later received a call from my daughter asking me to make my “really good dressing” for the turkey.  Her dad was asked later to cook the turkey.  Her husband made a pumpkin roll and a pumpkin pie.  I made a couple of other pies.  Our daughter took care of the bread, potatoes, seeing that the table was set properly, and other small chores.  We all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas dinner at her house and no one person was over worked.  After the meal, the children did the dishes.  The afternoon was spent playing board games together.

         There are many benefits to planning family get-togethers this way. Besides the fact that no one person feels martyred, the children are feeling important for the contributions they are making.  They are learning to cook and plan.  Each person involved is learning teamwork.  Self-evaluation is taking place as each decides what he or she can or can’t do.  Family tradition is being formed 

         A key to making this method work is to accept the contributions of each person without negative criticism.  If the green bean casserole isn’t just perfect, who cares?  It is more important to praise the child for effort made than to eat a perfect casserole.  The praise will last far longer than the casserole!  Another point to remember is to fit the task to the capability of the person.  Even a toddler can carry silver to the table or lay napkins on the table.  It is important that every person possible contribute to the dinner.

         As we enjoy our Christmas dinner this year, let us each give thanks for the food and the people, (not the person), who prepared it.  It is so good that we have such a bountiful supply of food available to us and the freedom to enjoy the celebration of our holidays.  Let us remember our troops who are fighting to preserve that freedom.  Most of all, let us be grateful for the greatest gift, Jesus, our Saviour!

Children and Santa

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way, My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon.com; Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Children and Santa

       For a long time, Santa has been our society’s focal point of Christmas.  He, no doubt, has sold many million dollars worth of toys.  He has produced much laughter.  He has caused the eyes of children to light up.  In reality, he has been the only reason many people observe Christmas.

         What is the current status of Santa?  Our computer-literate generation of children is not easily fooled.  In truth, how many of us grown-ups ever really believed in Santa?  Some children were fooled simply because they believed that their parents would never lie to them.  Others believed because they thought that by believing, they might get more gifts. Many of us could easily see the impossibility of someone flying around the whole world in one night and stopping at each house and going down each chimney.  We felt that it was insulting our intelligence to expect us to believe such a far-out story.  

         Today, we have many fat Santas at malls, department stores, parades, etc.  Do we really think that our children are not intelligent enough to figure out that they are too big to fit in a chimney?  Even a toddler can question why there are so many Santas.  

         A bigger question involves the feelings of a child who truly believes in Santa because he trusts his parents to never lie, and then finds out that the parents did, indeed, lie to him/her.  What happens, then, when the parents tell the child about an invisible Jesus?  For that matter, can the child believe the parents at any time if they deceived them with a Santa?  

         Our children cannot be shielded from Santa.  Our society sees to it that Santa is visible over and over.  It is a situation we must deal with.  We don’t want to rob our children of the fun of Christmas, but, at the same time, we don’t want our children to lose trust in us. A parent cannot avoid making a decision as to how to handle Santa.

         One idea for parents is to tell the children that to pretend there is a Santa is a fun game that is played at Christmastime.  Just as children play pretend in other areas, parents play pretend with the child about Santa. When little girls play pretend “mommy” with dolls, or little boys may play pretend” soldier with army toys, they do not really think they are grown.  It is alright to play pretend as long as children can come back to reality. This stimulates creativity. By letting the children know up front that Santa is a pretend game, future disappointment is eliminated.  It would be a good idea to explain that Santa represents giving and making others happy.  That is something that Jesus wants us to do. 

         Santa will probably be around for a long time to come, but deceiving children should end. We should never lie to children!   

         It is important that we create a pleasing experience for children at Christmas without leaving them with the feeling at a later time that they have been deceived.  Different personalities handle this in different ways.  Ultimately, whatever means is used, children should be left with understamding the real meaning of Christmas.  Children need to understand that Christmas is a celebration of the time that God sent his only son into the world to show His love for us.  

Choosing Gifts for Children

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Choosing Gifts for Children

            When our children were young, there were some Christmas days that my husband and I would look at each other in bewilderment as we watched our children open their presents, set them aside, and start playing with the cardboard boxes they came in! We had put much time and effort into selecting what we thought was just the right gift, yet they enjoyed the boxes more than what they had contained. It is easy to spend a good deal of money and time and still not come up with the right gift. 

         We all like to see children have fun and be happy on Christmas morning.  It is a temptation to overspend to make sure that the children will not be disappointed.  Sometimes we buy a gift, and then not feeling sure we chose the right gift, we go and buy another gift.  Where does it stop?

         It is great to give a gift that the kids really like and have fun with.  It is even greater if they can have fun and learn something valuable at the same time.

         Money spent on educational toys is money well invested.  It is unfortunate that there are also toys on the market that have little or no learning value and break easily.  Those toys are a waste of money.  Some last only a few minutes.  We, as parents and grandparents, need to use wisdom in deciding whether the toy asked for by a child is really the best purchase.  I have never been excited over Disney creations.  They may be alright but what do they really teach?  I see very little, if any, learning value in them.  Barbie dolls may actually have a negative effect on children.  After all, what kind of goals do we want our children to have?  I was glad when our daughter decided that she did not want to encourage our granddaughter to get excited about Barbie dolls.  Someone gave our granddaughter a Barbie book when she was small.  I was astonished when I read it to her and found what the book was about. Barbie was sad because she wasn’t going to get to model in a show until another model broke her leg, and she got the job after all.  Are we teaching our children to profit by the misfortune of others?

         We need to consider, also, that many toys are made overseas.  We may want to wash or sterilize some before the children play with them.  They may be made in factories that are not sanitary and come on ships a long way.  Someone told me that they worked one Christmas season unpacking toys that came from overseas and a big blue bug flew out of a box.  Everyone was sent out of the room while it was fumigated.  The children who got those toys not only got toys that had had bugs on them, but had also been sprayed with insect killer.  

         Let us keep our emotions under control and carefully think through the selection of gifts for our children.  

It Really is the Thought that Counts

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; wwwpatlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

It Really is the Thought that Counts

         A lot of joking takes place at Christmas and birthdays when gifts don’t seem to match up with the recipients.  There are those who think that if you spend a lot of money, the gift should be appreciated. Some folks like handmade gifts; others think it is a sign that the giver has more time than money.  Some people fret and fret and still cannot come up with a gift that they feel comfortable in giving to someone. Then, thankfully, there are those who just seem to have a knack for gift-giving and always seem to come up with just the perfect gift.  

         I wonder if the secret to knowing the perfect gift for someone is knowing someone perfectly well.  The better we know someone, the better we know their likes and dislikes.  When we wait until the last minute and feel that we simply must find a gift, usually neither the giver nor the recipient enjoys the choice. In fact, there are those wonderful, efficient people who are alert to appropriate Christmas gifts all year long, picking up things they know someone would like when they happen to see them or making things ahead of time for those they love.

         I’m glad there are still those folks who enjoy handmade gifts.  They are getting scarce as time to make them becomes more and more limited.  I’ve always felt that someone must care for another very much to go to all the trouble to make something. Counted cross stitch, embroidery work, handmade pieces of furniture, crocheted or knitted work, and other handmade items are priceless.  

         In the movie, “Christmas in Canaan”, on the Hallmark channel a unique idea was given.  I had never heard the idea that was presented there.  The father wrapped up pictures from catalogs of items he wished he had money to buy for the family members.  In the story plot, the crops had been bad, and money was scarce.  The family remembered that special Christmas in the years to come and treasured the love shown by a father who truly wished he could do more.  The story was another reminder that Christmas is love, not things.

         It is so very noble when people ask that gifts not be given to them, but rather the money for those gifts be used to meet the needs of others. There are needy families who can really use some help.  On the other hand, there are those folks who have so much that it is hard to think of anything they don’t already have to give to them.  It is amusing to look through some catalogs and see some of the unusual creations that are there to lure people to spend money.  

         When we give to others from the heart, it is like giving to Jesus.  After all, it really is his birthday, not ours.  We need to teach our children to give from the heart by setting the right example for them.  Children need to understand that we give to others to show our love for them.  Emphasis needs to be put on what would make the other person happy.  We can help children avoid selfishness when we teach them that gifts should be given with a great deal of thought and love.  

Christmas Memories

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child

Christmas Memories

         Memories of childhood greatly influence decisions of adults.  That is why it is so important for parents and grandparents to make every effort to ensure good experiences for children that will create a good foundation for adulthood.  Christmas is a perfect time for doing so.

         Memories don’t necessarily have to be fun memories.  How a family works together in tough times is a memory that provides direction for a person in adulthood when that person faces difficult times.  Valuable memories do not necessarily require money.  How gifts are given from the heart at Christmas teaches a child that gifts should be given in love and do not necessarily need to be expensive.

         Those of us who lived during the years of the Great Depression are not as alarmed about the state of the nation’s economy because our memories teach us that we can survive well without many of the things we have come to enjoy.  I’m sure that many others remember, as I do, having a cedar tree cut from the woods for a Christmas tree.  Our tree was often decorated with red and green construction paper chains made in school by cutting strips and pasting the ends together in circles.  We would interlock the red in green, then the green in red, etc.  We made snowflakes by folding white paper and cutting it in various designs.  We would hang the snowflakes on the branches of the tree.  Sometimes, we would make strands of cranberries to drape around the tree.  We always felt important for contributing to the decorations.  

         A few years ago, our youngest son and his wife moved from Kentucky to Arkansas just before Christmas.  We spent Christmas with them sitting among unpacked boxes.  All Christmas decorations were packed away.  On Christmas Eve, we looked at each other and I could tell that our son was feeling a little apologetic for the situation.  I thought hard about what could be done.  I found a pen, reached in a box, pulled out some packing paper, and said, “We each have to make our own stocking.”  We found some scissors, designed our stockings, and laid them on the hearth of the fireplace.  I felt good when I heard our son chuckle.  A memory had been created.

         When my husband and I were working on the Navajo Reservation at Lukachukai, AZ, we had a big snow storm one Christmas.  The mail came only three times a week and during the storm, it could not get through at all. No gifts from our homes came in time for Christmas. We had already given each other our gifts thinking there would be more from our homes in MO and NE to open at Christmas.  On Christmas morning, we sat looking at each other and a bare tree.  That is a memory we will never forget, but it made us appreciate each other more.

         We can be very creative in making memories for children.  Sometimes it is a good thing to be short of money.  It causes us to be more resourceful.  We spoil our own Christmas when we place too much emphasis on “things”.  We should never forget that people are more important than things.  The real basis of the Christmas season is love.  When couples argue over how much money to spend, unpleasant memories are created for their children.  We should not be stingy, but we should never buy beyond our means.  We need to learn to make good use of what we have.  By doing so, we create good memories for children and set a good example for them.

Fostering an Attitude of Gratitude

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….)

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Fostering an Attitude of Gratitude

Train up a child…

Are We “Passing the Buck” in Disciplining Children?

         Children go to school and the school personnel say, “Why don’t the parents discipline their children?”  The children go home and the parents say, “Isn’t that school disciplining my children?”  The children go to church activities and the workers there wonder, “Aren’t these children getting any discipline at home or school?”  Children go out in public places and folks say, “These children are so undisciplined! Why doesn’t someone discipline these children nowadays?”

         Whose responsibility is it to discipline children?  I submit that it is the responsibility of those in charge wherever the children are.  Of course, the ones most responsible are the parents.  In addition to the discipline at home, it is the parents’ responsibility to make sure they are getting disciplined when someplace other than with the parents.  

Why do people not accept this responsibility?

         School personnel are highly restricted in the kinds of discipline they can administer.  This causes those in charge to be hesitant to step up to the plate and do what is necessary.  I am impressed to see how creative many teachers have become in helping the children behave correctly.  Still, often more discipline is needed than the children are getting.

         Church workers often hesitate to discipline for fear the children will not return to church.  “If the children don’t come back to church, how can we teach them?”  The truth of the matter is that unless we teach them and discipline them, what good is it for them to come back to church?  They are there to receive discipline and correction as well as knowledge.  By not disciplining the children, we are in reality teaching them that they can behave in unacceptable ways and get by with it. They may actually be thinking, “If they let me act like this at church, it must be all right to act this way all the time”.

         When children visit another person’s home or a public place, they need to be taught to observe the rules of that location.  Those in charge have the right to expect children to observe those rules.  

         Each of us needs to live up to the responsibility of disciplining children when they are under our care.  If we tell a child to do something, we should see to it that it is done.  Follow-through is probably the single most important thing we can do to teach a child to act properly.  For example, if we tell a child not to run, we should not let that child run.  If we don’t care that he/she runs, we shouldn’t give the instruction in the first place.  Unfortunately, it is usually the adult who gives in rather than the child.  What can we do in a situation like this?  We should love the children enough to risk not being liked.  We need to follow-through, get the child, take the child back to the place where he started running and walk with the child.  It may take a few times, but the child will get the message that obedience is a must.

         An undisciplined child is an unhappy child.  A disciplined child usually has good self-esteem because he/she has a sense of doing right.  Children cannot feel self-worth if they are always being looked upon with disdain due to poor behavior.  We really help children when we discipline them.  When there is no discipline, children become like little wild animals and are always looking for something to make them feel good.  We are created to have a good feeling when we do what is right, and when we know that what we have done is right. In other words, it just feels good to be good.

Knowing About the Past can Help Children with the Future

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Knowing About the Past Can Help Children with the Future

         It is unfortunate that many children are growing up with little or no knowledge of the past.  If children are knowledgeable about the past, they are more apt to appreciate what they now enjoy.  In addition, parents and grandparents can be drawn closer to children as the children learn to better understand those older folks. Learning about the resourcefulness and sacrifices of the past motivates children to become more resourceful and less demanding of conveniences.  The Thanksgiving season provides a good opportunity to delve into the past as we teach children about the pilgrims, the first Thanksgiving, and the early lifestyles of parents and grandparents.

         Grandparents can play an important role in assisting parents tell stories from their childhood. Unfortunately, many older people seem to feel that their job is done and do not make the effort to help bring up children.  Grandparents need to tell children of their happy times as well as the sad times they have experienced.

         Many older grandparents lived during the Great Depression.  Personally, I remember seeing a soup truck come to our little town, Verona, MO, and people line up behind it for a bowl of soup.  I remember the rationing stamps we had for sugar, gas, and other things.  Many children find it hard to believe that we could not have bubble gum because all the rubber was needed for tires for war equipment.  Children bought saving stamps to help fund WWII.  The blackout nights when everyone had to turn off their lights at a certain time for fear that enemy planes could see them and drop bombs were scary times that should be told to children.  

         Children find it amazing that older folks did not have computers, cell phones, and many other things they take for granted.  They need to know how older folks survived without running water, electricity, and indoor plumbing.  It was in my dad’s lifetime that automobiles were invented.  To imagine living without these conveniences is an exercise in creative thinking.

         One very important subject to cover is the role of our military in securing our freedom.  We are fortunate to live in an area where much attention is paid to our men and women who have fought for us. A Veteran’s Museum is an excellent place to take children. 

         Great books are available in local libraries to read to children about Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, many schools are not including much about how this country got started. Teachers are so pressed to cover certain things that they often do not have the time to adequately cover this topic.

         Making sure that children are taken to places to learn about the past and telling stories from the past go a long way in developing understanding and right attitudes in children.  The attitude of gratitude and resourcefulness become bricks in the foundation that children need to face the future.

“Why is this Happening to Me?”

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By Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me: When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; and www.patlambchristianauthor.c

Train up a child…

A Thanksgiving Story

            Here is a story you can share about Thanksgiving. Reading or telling this story will help children appreciate what others have gone through in the past and how it affects us now.

Why is This Happening to Me?

            About four hundred years ago, there were some Indian tribes who lived in what is now Massachusetts.  White people did not yet live in this country, but some had been here exploring new lands. One time a ship carrying white men came to explore the coast.  They were fascinated with the Indians.  They decided to capture some and take them back to England to show people there what Indians looked like. A young man named Squanto was one of the Indian boys captured.

            While in England, the men decided to teach the Indian boys they captured to speak English. When Squanto had learned enough English, they took him back with them to what is now our country to use him as an interpreter and a guide as they continued exploring.

            While Squanto was back here in what is now America, he was tricked by some other white men and taken to Spain to be sold as a slave. Some monks bought him, and he lived with them for a time and learned about the “white man’s God”.  After living at the monastery for some time, someone took him back to England and from there he was taken to America to be used as an interpreter and guide once again.

            On this final trip back to our country, he did such a good job as interpreter and guide, that those who were exploring decided to let Squanto return to his tribe.  When he arrived at the place where his tribe lived, he found that his whole tribe had died of a disease, and he was the only Patuxent Indian left!

            Squanto moved in with another tribe of Indian people whose chief was named Samoset.  It was a short time later that the pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock. The pilgrims had prayed and prayed about going some place where they could have freedom to worship God as they felt they should.  They had asked God to watch over them and care for them.  Imagine how surprised they were when they arrived and met Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English!

            Squanto moved to the village that the pilgrims started.  He lived with the pilgrims and taught them to hunt, plant, fish, and make treaties with other tribes of Indians so they could live peacefully together. The winters were very harsh and many of the pilgrims died during the first year.  They did not have medicines then like we have now, and their food was scarce.  Some people starved to death. 

            Squanto died in 1622.  He asked Governor Bradford to pray for him that he might go to the Englishman’s God in heaven.

            Had it not been for Squanto, it’s possible that none of the pilgrims would have survived.  He played a very important part in our country’s history.

Note:  It is well that we remember this story.  It might be a good idea to clip it and keep it for future use.  I have used it before and plan to use it again.  It is a story we all need to know and remember.  

            After telling the story, discuss it with those present.  Here are some questions that may be used for discussion:

  • How do you think Squanto and the other boys felt when they were captured?
  • Do you think it was easy for Squanto to learn English?
  • Do you think Squanto ever said to himself, “Why is this happening to me?”
  • What would have probably happened to Squanto if he had not been captured?
  • What do you think the pilgrims were thinking when they arrived and found Squanto, an Indian man who could speak English?
  • Do you think God worked in Squanto’s life for a purpose?
  • Do you think God has a purpose for your life?

“As the Twig is Bent”

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is….) Books are available on Amazon; Barnes & Noble; patlambchristianauthor.co

Train up a child…

“As the Twig is Bent”

         I remember an instructor in our child development class at Missouri University saying, “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree”.  She went to great lengths to explain that habits that are formed in childhood last a lifetime.  If left unchecked, the inclinations that a child has are reinforced through the years as the child grows. This is true for both good and bad inclinations.  It is the task of the parent to “prune” those inclinations as needed.  The parent needs to reinforce in positive ways the good, and do their best to eliminate the bad habits.  

         A common saying about children who are displaying problematic behavior is, “Don’t worry. He will grow out of it.”  This may be true as relating to physical changes, but in most behavioral changes, children do not “grow out of it”.  The problems, in most cases, gain strength as the child grows.

         There are many examples of children growing worse when problems are left unchecked.  Take, for instance, the child who throws temper tantrums.  When parents give in to the child and do not correct this problem, the child grows up believing that he/she can get whatever is wanted by displaying acts of temper.  Another example is the demanding child who does not learn good manners.  That child becomes the adult who “railroads” through anyone or everyone to achieve wants and desires.  Poor eating habits are very difficult to correct in adulthood. Many obese people are those who as children were allowed to eat whatever they wanted. Children who are allowed to act any way they want will not grow up respecting authority.  Children who are given everything needed without having to earn anything will not grow up and suddenly say, “Oh, I can do everything for myself”.  These children will always be expecting handouts.

         Young people seem to have a feeling of indestructibility.  They tend to think, “I’m different.  That will never happen to me.”  I recently talked to a man who is now an alcoholic.  He said, “I made the same mistake so many other people have made.  I thought it would never happen to me.”  It is our duty, as parents and grandparents, to point out examples to prove that it can happen to anyone.  Ultimately, each person is individually responsible for choices made, but we need to do all we can to influence those choices and help that person grow in the right direction.

         My dad used pieces of string to illustrate to my sisters and me how habits get stronger and stronger. He handed us a piece of string and told us to break it.  It was easy.  Then he gave us two pieces of string and told us to break them.  It was harder.  Then he gave us three pieces of string and told us to break them all at the same time.  Some of us were able to do it.  By the time he got to four pieces of string, it was not possible to break them all at the same time.  “That is how it is with habits,” he said.  He told us that when you first do something wrong, it is much easier to stop than after you have continued to do it for a time.  We understood that it is best not to form bad habits.

         Raising children is somewhat like gardening.  We prune, feed, and water.  We guide and do our best to influence the choices our children make.  When they are little, we can prevent bad choices.  When they grow up, they will choose according to their own individual beliefs.  Other influences in the world compete with the influence of parents.  We simply try our very best and bathe our efforts with lots of prayer.