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Teens Need Help Making Decisions

by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com) Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book

Train up a child…

Teens Need Help Making Decisions

         There is a great deal of research now occurring concerning the brain and how it works.  Recent research indicates that the part of the brain that influences decision-making and problem solving is not fully developed during the teen years. The frontal lobes which help control risk-taking and thrill-seeking are not fully developed until around age 20. This causes teenagers to feel invincible and not fully consider the consequences of their choices. If teens know about this research, they might possibly be more open to the acceptance of the advice of parents, teachers, and others who are older.

         According to Jeremy Elliot-Engel, a 4-H youth development specialist with the University of Missouri Extension, there are six primary steps to decision-making for teens.  If parents are aware of these steps, they can pass them along to their daughters and sons and better help them with decision-making.

         The six steps recommended for decision-making by teens are:

  • List the choices.
  • Think about the pros and cons of each choice.
  • Assess the likelihood of the consequences actually happening.
  • Compare the consequences and their importance.
  • Decide and act.
  • Evaluate the consequences, both expected and unexpected.

Parents need to help teens see options when they list choices.  It is 

difficult for teens to see more than one or two options.  At this point, they may feel more influence from the opinions of friends.  Parents may need to point out that the friends may not have thought of all of the options available.

         If parents are patient, teens often welcome their advice.  When parents become involved, it is evidence to the young person that the parent cares.  There are times when the parent must make the final decision no matter how much conversation has occurred.  However, the process of involving the teen has long-lasting benefits.  Although the teen may not seem cooperative, the process itself becomes imbedded in the mind of that person to help in the next decision. This process should be repeated over and over to ensure that the teen understands the steps to decision-making. When young people are involved in the decision, they are more likely to follow it.

         The teen years are a transitioning time between the total dependence on parents as a child and independence from parents as an adult.  The safety of the teen is foremost, but as much as possible with this in mind, teens need to be allowed to make decisions with the understanding that the parent has the last word.

Music is Valuable for Children

Train up a child… by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Music is Valuable for Children

         Of the seven intelligences, music is probably the most universal.  It seems that almost everyone has some musical intelligence.  Even those who say they “couldn’t carry a tune if they had it in a basket with a lid on it” probably enjoy listening to music. There are, however, children who possess a real gift in this area.  We all know people whose love for music is so great that they almost live and breathe it. Our oldest son, for instance, could hardly walk past our piano without sitting down and playing for a while. There are those folks who can pick up almost any instrument and play it.  Occasionally, we meet those who “play by ear” almost any tune they hear.        Even very small children who have not yet learned to walk may be seen moving their bodies somewhat in rhythm to music. As soon as they learn to walk, many small children will make up and do little dances to rhythm.  

         The seven intelligences are linguistic, logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, spatial, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Each person is born more dominant in some intelligences than others. Musical intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone. It enables one to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on music.  Music connects with emotions.  Mathematical and music intelligences may share common thinking processes.

         Children with musical intelligence are often sensitive to sounds in the environment such as chirping of crickets, traffic, or rain on the roof.  They can often produce a melody after hearing it only once.  They are able to mimic sounds, language accents, and others’ speech patterns.  They can pick out different instruments in a musical composition.  

         It is important that all children are exposed to a variety of music.  In my opinion, all children should be given some music training. Learning to read music is a real asset. Studies have shown that children who have music training do better academically.  It is unfortunate that so many young people allow peer pressure to mold them into only one type of music.  One way to help avoid this is to expose children to different kinds of music when they are young.  When our four children were small, I had a collection of records that I played for them during their rest time.  The collection included classical as well as fun songs and stories put to music. Later, our oldest son played a great deal of classical music when he took piano lessons. Each of our children seems to enjoy different kinds of music even now that they are grown.

         Making up lyrics to different tunes works well with children with the musical intelligence.  In kindergarten, some teachers make up songs about picking up toys and putting them away.  Interjecting a child’s name in the lyrics is fun.  It is amazing how the children seem to respond to the music as opposed to simply being told to pick up their toys and put them away. When the child goes to school, multiplication tables put to tunes makes it easier for the child to learn.  Many things that need to be memorized can be put to music.  Allowing the child to make up songs themselves will enhance learning.  

         It is unfortunate that there are not many opportunities for careers for music lovers.  Only the really gifted and dedicated can make a living from music.  I noticed in Europe we would walk down the street in some places and pass perhaps two or three buildings where orchestras were playing.  It seemed to be possible there for more people who loved music to do it as a career: nevertheless, music is still very important for our own personal satisfaction and enjoyment here in America.  It provides a real outlet of expression of emotions whether we perform or just listen. We each need a song in the heart! 

Some Children are Number Smart

Train up a child… by Pat Lamb, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Some Children are “Number Smart”

       It is common for parents and teachers to teach children believing that children will respond the same way they responded as children.  To have this mindset is to not take in consideration the differences in intelligences with which children are born.  To say that we are not the same is a “no-brainer”, yet we work with children as though they all are just like us.  

         Children are born with seven different intelligences.  They are: verbal/linguistic, mathematical/logical, musical/rhythmic, bodily/kinesthetic, visual/spatial, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Those intelligences are also known as: word smart, numbers smart, picture smart, music smart, body smart, people smart, and self smart.

         Some people just seem to have a knack for math.  These are the number smart people. Number smart persons are logical thinkers.  They can do sequential reasoning, do inductive and deductive reasoning, and do abstract reasoning.  They enjoy doing number puzzles and can perceive connections and relationships of one thing to another.  They may like to study statistics and graphs.  Children may like to play with secret codes.  They do well with “If ….then” types of reasoning. They may do better at outlining stories and classifying items.  As a small child, you may notice these number smart individuals grouping their toys by size, color, etc.  This may be a clue that in the future they will do well in math.  These logically minded children may be argumentative and continually try to prove their point. Parents become frustrated as the children try to prove them wrong. Older persons with this intelligence will like solving mysteries.  Their favorite books or movies may be mysteries.

         In my own experience, I have noticed that many of those who excel in math may have difficulty in English usage and writing.  It seems to me that many people who have the “math brain” think in black and white and expect everything to be logical.  Our English language is not logical.  There are times when one thing applies and times when it does not.  This frustrates the person who wants everything to be logical. The flip side of this is that word smart people sometimes have trouble with math because it does not have varying shades of correctness or incorrectness.  In math, only one way is right.    

         People who are number smart may end up in careers such as auditors, accountants, underwriters, scientists, statisticians, computer analysts, economists, technicians, bookkeepers, science teachers, engineers, retail buyers, physicists, bankers, math teachers, or investment brokers.  Some people from the past who were number smart include Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and George Washington Carver.      

         When we can recognize the intelligences of children and nurture those intelligences, we can steer them toward satisfying careers.  Understanding a child’s interests can create more harmony in the family.  Just because there are some who have this special interest is not to say that those who do not have this special interest cannot learn math.  Everyone needs math and in my opinion can learn math, but they may not go into careers where math is one of the most important skills.