Tag Archives: Helping children with fear

Helping Children with Fear

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…)Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianwriter.com)

Train up a child…

Helping Children with Fear

Many children have fears.  Right now, they may be having fears about what they hear adults saying about the Corona virus.  They may be having fears about changes at school. In addition, when they hear parents raise their voices to each other, they have inward fears that parents cannot or will not take care of them.

Even adults are displaying symptoms of fear concerning the Corona virus.Many are staying in and afraid to go anywhere.  Children hear adults talking about whether or not to wear masks.  To a young child, these things they hear conjure up visions in their minds of things we adults can hardly imagine.  They may think of the virus as a monster that they cannot see.  We need to be careful about not only what we say when children are listening, but also how we say it.  Since children have limited vocabularies, they often judge by tone of voice.

When children see the changes that have taken place in school, they may be afraid they might forget the new rules.  “What if I get in trouble?”  “Where is that virus?”  “What if I get sick?”  These are questions they may have in mind.  This not only affects their emotions, it also affects the learning process.  It is hard to concentrate with so much on the mind.

As simple as it may seem, one way we can help children with fear is to keep a calm voice.  Another way is for parents to give assurance to their children that they will be there to protect them as much as possible. (It is not wise to say, “Everything will be alright”,  because we don’t know that is true.  Children are smart enough to know it may not be true as well.)  Right now, it is a good idea to let the children know that most children do not get sick with the virus.  However, some will be worried about their grandmothers and grandfathers.  I suggest you let the children talk to their grandparents often, if possible.  Hearing their voices is a reassurance that they are okay.  

There are many uncertainties in life that we cannot control.  It is good that children learn this fact.  Many have found the best comfort in their prayer life and faith.  This time in our life is a good time to teach children about the love of God and that He wants the best for them.  Nevertheless, we have a choice as to our beliefs and actions because He created us that way.  There are many good programs available on the Internet for children to learn about God.  Even if church attendance is restricted at this time, there is an unlimited amount of Spiritual education available for both children and adults if we simply tap into it. 

Our lives will always have challenges and uncertainties. Some may be even worse than what we are now facing.  Helping children cope with these uncertainties is perhaps the most important thing we can do to train up our children in the way they should go.

A Healthy Fear

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthorcom)

Train up a Child…

A Healthy Fear

Many parents seem to try to shield their children from all fear.  “Don’t worry,” they say.  “Everything will be alright”.  Do we really know that everything will be alright?  Are we being honest with our children when we say this?  Truth is always best.

Even though parents may have good intentions, when they try to shield their children from all fear, it leaves children worried. The children probably sense that they are not being told the truth.  Children often sense what parents are feeling and wonder why their parents won’t trust them enough to share their feelings.  

Parents who fear telling the truth may not realize that it is not the facts that are most important, but rather how we share those facts.

Children are comforted more when they can trust parents to be truthful with them.  When parents softly and gently tell children about danger, and then assure them that they will do all they can to protect the children, those children find far more comfort.  To simply be put aside with “Everything’s going to be alright”, leaves a child wondering and feeling insecure.

By being truthful and honest with children, we are helping prepare them for handling difficulties in their future.  It does no favor to a child to be raised thinking that everything will be alright.  Children are better served when we teach them that there will always be challenges in life.  We need to model the right attitude and procedures for facing those challenges.  Life is not always fun.  

Giving children specific tasks in facing challenges lets them feel a part of the solution.  Being thrifty and saving are always good traits for facing any emergency.  A rule of thumb is to have savings that can maintain a family for three months.  Children can help by simply turning off lights when not needed, not wasting food, not begging for unneeded items, and practicing good health habits such as washing hands frequently.  Doing something to help gives a child comfort and helps build self-esteem.  

Panicky parents do no good for their children in modeling how to cope with challenges.  Being truthful with children in a loving and gentle way is always best.  If a child can’t trust a parent to be truthful at one time, can s/he ever trust a parent to be truthful?  Honesty is still the best policy!