Tag Archives: Mother’s Day

Uncategorized,

That Special Day is Coming!

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

That Special Day is Coming

            Mother’s Day is such a special day!  It is a time to reflect about what our mothers were or are like, what those of us who presently are mothers are like, and what mothers should be like.  It is a day in which mothers can almost feel like special saints when they receive so much acclaim.  My, how good it feels!  Then, the next day, quite often, we go back to mundane duties and wondering if what we are doing is really worth it all.

            Can anyone really describe all the duties of a mother?  Those duties are so numerous that the thought of the responsibility is almost overwhelming. And yet, those who are not mothers often cry out to God asking for that gift of a child.  In the book of Samuel in the Bible, we can read about Hannah who prayed so fervently for a child that she was accused of being drunk.  In spite of the daunting task, most women long to be a mother.

            A good mother does whatever is necessary to train a selfish “me” baby to become a responsible, God-fearing person who is an attribute, rather than a liability, to society.  When a baby is first born, its only concern is self.  Hopefully, as the child grows, he/she becomes more and more unselfish and considers what is right and good.  Unfortunately, we still have “big babies” in our society who think only of themselves and their wants.

            A good mother must first of all be unselfish in order to rear a child to be likewise.  She gives up her sleep and comfort to care for that little one during the long hours of the night which become short hours of sleep.  She keeps going for the good of the child even when she is tired. She gives up her desire for a new dress to make sure that the kids have what they need.  Erma Bombeck asked in one of her writings, “Why do mothers always give themselves the bent fork?”  

            A good mother must be patient, realizing that you can’t force a flower to bloom.  Just as a rose bush has some buds that open before others, so is the world of budding children.  God, in His infinite wisdom, created us to grow and blossom at different paces.  

            A good mother needs the wisdom of Solomon to settle conflicts.  Oh, that everything were clear-cut and easy to solve!  Many problems in child-rearing do not have perfect solutions.  Sometimes we just have to choose the better solution, wishing for an opportunity to have the perfect solution later.  Oh, if only all daddies were right there to assist in the spur of the moment to assist in making decisions!!  It is too bad that now there are so many single moms who have to try to be both mom and dad to their children.  There is no daddy to remind the kids to do something special for mom on this special day.  What a tough job they have!

            I know of no better source for the description of a good woman and mom than in the 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible.  It tells us that a good woman is clothed with strength and dignity (better clothing than that new dress she may have to give up.)  It tells us that she watches over the affairs of her household and is not idle.  It also says that her children will arise and call her blessed.  Verse 10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.”  This chapter is a good one to read often to help keep us on track.

            Dads, step up to the plate now and help the children plan to express their love to mom on this special day.  Children need coaching at this time.  While you are at it, plan something for mom yourself to show her that you understand and appreciate her difficult task.  When your day comes, hopefully mom will help the kids show their appreciation to you.  We both need all the encouragement we can get. Right now, plan to make this day special for mom.  

Moms Have Tough Times to Tolerate

Uncategorized,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Train up a child…

Moms Have Tough Times to Tolerate

         I’m sure every mom has some really tough times.  Some of those times we can later look back on and have a good laugh, but at the time they occurred, we may have been frustrated and ready to “throw up our hands” in dismay.  Here are three such times that occurred in our family.

         When our grandson was a toddler, his mom was very proud that she had taught her firstborn at such an early age to help by picking up things and throwing them in the trash.  He would pick up bits of trash on the floor and proudly toddle to the trash bin and put them in and turn and look at his mom for her praise and approval. One day she got ready to go to work but could not find her watch.  This was a very special watch that her dad and I had given to her for her graduation.  After searching through the trash and not finding it, she could only conclude that it had already gone to the dumpster and been picked up by the garbage truck!  At that moment, she was not so proud of her son for putting things in the trash for her.

         Our second son was gifted with the use of words, but was never able to master math.  When he was in first grade, I would sit at the kitchen table at night and work with him to teach him to subtract whole numbers through ten.  To make the learning more interesting, I would use popcorn, spaghetti, raisins, or miniature marshmallows.  We would put down a certain number, take away a certain number, and count what was left so he could write the answer on his homework paper.  On one occasion, we were using marshmallows when the phone rang and I had to leave to answer it.  “Go ahead and finish this row,” I told him.  When I came back, there was not a single problem completed and he had eaten the marshmallows! It has been seven years since we lost this son. Before he passed away, we laughed together about the incident and he said, “Yeah.  Those little colored marshmallows were tasty!”

         Our oldest son had a curious nature.  He liked to touch things when we went shopping or wherever we happened to be.  I tried and tried to teach him to keep his hands off things, but he seemed not able to resist checking out whatever was available to examine. On one occasion our family was invited to dinner at a friend’s home.  They thoughtfully seated our four children in the kitchen while we ate at the dining table.  There was a shelf in the cabinet beside where they were seated that had a number of items on it.  As we were enjoying a pleasant conversation and all seemed to be going well, we suddenly heard a loud “pop”.  I couldn’t imagine what could have happened, but we soon knew when we all started rubbing our eyes and the tears started rolling down our cheeks.  We quickly made our way to the front yard as our host explained that our son had set off a tear bomb!  The tear bomb looked like a pen.  Kenneth had picked it up to look at it thinking it might have different colors of ink in it.  As the neighbors came running out of their houses to see why we were all in the yard crying, the host angrily said, “He shouldn’t have been bothering that!” He had a few other comments as well and repeated some of them several times! He was not happy with us!

         Mother’s Day is such a special day to honor moms for all they have tolerated as well as the pleasures they have had in raising their children.  Quite possibly each and every mom has stories they remember or are presently experiencing with their children.  Each day is a day to invest in future memories to enjoy.  Most of the older moms will readily tell the younger ones, cherish each moment with your children.  They grow up so very fast and are gone before you know it!

How Does A Mom Gain Respect?

Uncategorized, , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.

Train up a child…

How Does a Mom Gain Respect?

         Have you noticed how some children really seem to respect their moms while others don’t?  What makes the difference?  Although children should be taught to respect their parents no matter what the circumstances, there are some things a mom can do to make it easier for a child to fulfill this requirement.  Moms who are always firm, live good clean lives as examples to their children, and are willing to sacrifice their own comforts and desires usually have the respect of their children.

         Sadly, some parents are afraid to be firm for fear that their children will get mad at them and not like them.  Mothers who do this will surprisingly find a lack of respect.  I observed an example of this when I taught kindergarten. A mother brought her son to class every morning and they were almost always late.  She would beg her son to come on into the room.  On one occasion I heard her tell the little boy that if he would go on into the room that she would give him a candy bar that she had in her hand.  Finally, after much pleading, the little boy took the candy bar and came on into the room.  When Mother’s Day was approaching, I had a group time with the children and talked to them about how they should love their mothers and what they could do for their mothers to show it.  The same little boy defiantly said, “I hate my mother!”  I was shocked, but it reinforced my understanding that you don’t gain respect without firmness to require a child to do what should be done.

         When moms are firm about certain things, they must “practice what they preach” and set a good example.  Children do not respect anyone who tells them not to do something and then they, themselves, go ahead and do those things. Children immediately catch on to our weaknesses.  They see weaknesses as disgusting, especially when they have been told to be strong and resist the same temptations.  “Do as I say and not as I do” simply does not work with children.  They learn more by example than by what they are told.  Moms should set the example of respecting their own parents, respecting God and his commands, as well as respecting the country and its laws.  

         If moms expect children to do more than they are willing to do, they are fooling themselves.  Moms can gain respect of their sons and daughters when they are willing to sacrifice for the good of the family.  I still have a visual image in my mind of my mom’s cracked and bleeding hands from milking cows with my dad every night and morning.  How I respect her for that! When she sold her eggs each week and bought shoes for my sisters and me instead of pretty things for herself, she gained the respect of each of us.  Self-sacrifice speaks love loud and clear and it certainly gains respect.

         Mother’s Day is somewhat of a test of the mother.  Will her children respect her enough to make an effort to show that respect to her?  Of course, it is also a test of dad.  Has dad taught the children to show respect to their mom? Has dad shown proper respect to mom as an example? Actions speak louder than words.  It is not the expensive gift that really counts, but rather the actions of the children in showing proper respect to their mothers.  Have we done all we can to gain that respect?  

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

Uncategorized, , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambhristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

A Good Mother Uses Time Wisely

Whether we are rich, poor, handsome, short, tall, educated, or uneducated, we all have one thing in equal amounts.  That one thing is time.  We each have 24 hours each day.  How we use those hours determines whether we are a success or failure in life.  The way mothers use their time may determine whether their children become a success or a failure.  Mothers should try to stay busy, make their busy-ness count positively, and protect their time from being stolen by others who would pressure them to do things that are not productive for their husband and children.

         The 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible describes the “perfect” woman.  In the 27th verse of that chapter we read that a good woman “does not eat the bread of idleness”.  One result of modern day conveniences is that we have more time on our hands.  It is tempting to allow ourselves to be idle since we are not required to do as much physical work as our mothers had to do.  I have heard so many women say that they eat too much because they are bored. As a result, they then worry about being overweight.  This is especially true of mothers whose children have left home.  The Bible does not say that we stop being mothers when the children reach a certain age.  We are mothers as long as our children are living. Even if our children are far away, we can still e-mail them or write words of encouragement, make gifts for them and their children, find appropriate books and information to help them, or do many other things to promote their well-being.  We need to keep busy being a good mother no matter what the age of the children. Idleness truly does breed contempt.  An idle person is usually not a happy person.  Physical exercise produces an enzyme that fights depression.  We need to stay as active as we can, doing productive activities. Also, there are plenty of other children around that we can “mother” if our children or grandchildren are not near us.

         It is important to choose activities that are beneficial to children. When mothers read to children, it is wise to choose books that not only entertain, but also teach good values.  I like to “kill two birds with one stone” whenever possible.  Some books and games have little value for children while others have great value.  Why waste time on something worthless when so much can be accomplished with worthwhile activities.  One of the very best ways to use time well is to allow children to assist with work.  This provides time for bonding as well as teaching children how to care for personal belongings. Children and parents can be side-by-side in work and play.

         There are many things that would steal our time.  Even good things can keep us from doing better things.  There may be good TV shows, but we need to ask ourselves whether they are actually worth the time they take by producing positive benefits for our family.  Many organizations plead for help from mothers and many of those organizations have worthwhile causes.  If we try to be helpful in too many of them or in too many ways to any one of them, we may be allowing them to steal time that would be better spent with our children. 

         Time passes far too quickly to waste it.  When our children are small, it may seem like forever until they grow up and are on their own.  Those of us who are older know that the time when they are home and we have greater influence on them is so very short in relation to the time when they are away.  My husband and I have been married fifty years and most of that time has been spent together after the children have left home. That is true of many other couples as well. Mom, let’s make that short time count!   

When Does Mom Stop Being Mom?

Uncategorized, , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of: “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”: “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor.com.)

Train up a child…

When Does Mom Stop Being Mom?

       From the time a child is born, mom is the one always there to feed, clothe, snuggle, and protect the little baby.  Dad is there also, but it is mom who is the closest at the early stage of life in a child.  When the child cries, mom can usually even tell what kind of cry it is.  Is it a hungry cry, a hurt cry, or an angry cry?  Mom knows.  The baby understands that mom is the one who will provide the basic needs.  The baby’s world revolves around its mom and the baby thinks mom is the greatest thing in the world.

         When the child starts to kindergarten, that child begins to discover that there are other people in the world who can make it happy.  Many children have a special bond with their kindergarten teacher.  At this point in life, mom begins to take back seat.  Mom has to stand back a little as the child begins to discover the world.  What mom hasn’t shed a tear or two as the child heads out the door for its first day of school?

         As the child begins to approach puberty, mom suddenly becomes perhaps the dumbest person in the world.  It is almost impossible to do anything right that pleases the son or daughter.  This is a time when many moms suffer a great deal of pain as their child begins to reject them.  Mom knows, however, that the child is “sprouting its own wings” and she patiently waits and watches, interjecting guidance wherever possible to help that child she still loves dearly, in spite of the fact that at times it seems that the child has no love for her.

         When the young adult goes to college, that son or daughter begins to sense the meaning of homesickness.  A reevaluation of mom and dad takes place and by the time the child is out of college, several hundred dollars later, the young adult is surprised at how much mom has learned in those four years!  The young adult still feels, however, that mom is behind the times and is not fully able to understand current situations.

         Through the adult years, the son or daughter gradually begins to understand that maybe mom wasn’t so far off base after all.  Little by little, the adult starts seeking advice from the person once thought to be ignorant of all modern behavior. “I wonder what mom would do?” the adult thinks in tough situations. “I’ll talk it over with her.”

         Finally, the time comes for mom’s life on this earth to end.  Mom is no longer there to go to for advice.  The son or daughter is now completely on its own unless dad is still around.  When tough situations come along, the individual thinks, “I wonder what mom would have done.  What would mom tell me to do?  I wish I could talk it over with her.”

         And in the coming years, the memory of mom’s words and actions still exist to help guide the child in decision-making.

         When does mom stop being a mom?  Never! The effects of her mothering are exhibited in grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Her teachings are felt in generations to come.  Mothering is a wonderful opportunity that knows no end.

A Mother’s Love is Special

Uncategorized, , , , ,

by Pat Lamb (Author of “Let the Children Come”; “Children, Come to Me”; “When the Stars Fall Down”; “Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way”; “My Thinking Book”. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

A Mother’s Love is Special

         There are many heartwarming stories demonstrating the love of a mother for her children.  Much respect is deserved by those mothers of physically or mentally challenged children for the hours of patience and loving care they give.  Mothers seem to have a special something that fathers and others don’t have.  There is no disputing that fathers play a valuable role in the upbringing of their children, but mothers have a distinct nature for nurturing her children.  Both have an irreplaceable role as God intended when he planned for man and woman to unite to bring children into the world.  At this time of the year, our thoughts turn to mom. I recall three personal observations illustrating a mother’s love.

         When my husband and I were working with the Navajo in New Mexico and Arizona, we observed the love of the mothers for their children as they reluctantly brought them to the government boarding schools to live away from home to get an education.  The vast expanse of the reservation made it impossible to have schools nearby.  To give the children an education meant that most of them had to live in a dormitory. High school students had to go off the reservation to schools as far away as Oklahoma or Utah.  Mothers would come to the campus of our school with beautiful Navajo rugs they had woven.  They wanted to sell the rugs to get some money for their children who were going away. There were many times when we watched children cling to parents and parents to children, not wanting to let go and part from each other. Knowing the necessity of an education prompted the parents to do what only the love for a child would motivate them to do…walk off and leave the child in the hands of someone else to educate. 

         On one occasion in Ramah, NM, a little girl did not want to come to school.  Her mother knew how important it was for the child’s future. I was teaching second grade at the time and the little girl was in my class.  Her mother came carrying the girl, kicking and crying, and put her in my arms. The mother spoke very little English and I spoke even less Navajo, but the language of love is universal.  I nodded to her in understanding, took the little girl in my arms and carried her into the classroom where she immediately stopped crying. I later learned from the mother’s brother that the little girl, Karen, had jumped out of the pickup on the way to school, and started to run across the field and hide, so she wouldn’t have to come to school.  Her mother had jumped out of the moving pickup right behind her, climbed over a fence and taken off after her to catch her.  Her brother was laughing about how her squaw skirt and turquoise jewelry were flying as she climbed that fence. (She wore a full 3-tiered skirt like a square dance skirt but floor length and velvet blouse…the traditional dress of the Navajo women.)  Her brother laughed when he told us that she didn’t care what the tourists thought as they drove by on the busy highway, she was going to catch Karen and get her in school!

         Another example of a mother’s love was seen in Denver when I rode with a policeman one night as a project for a class I was taking in the psychology of prejudice. Shortly after we stopped at a convenience store for coffee, we received a call that a girl had been raped at that same store.  Since another car was in the vicinity, we didn’t pursue the case.  At the end of the tour, we went to the police headquarters.  I was curious as to what happened about the rape case, so the man I had ridden with asked the dispatcher to find out.  She communicated with the police car that had been assigned to the case.  The reply came back, “Male Caucasian, 6’4” tall, approximately 250 lbs., when last seen was being pursued by victim’s mother!”

         Yes, mothers have a special love for the welfare of their children.

Children Need to Respect Mom

Uncategorized, , ,

by Pat Lamb (www.patlambchristianauthor.com)

Train up a child…

Children Need to Respect Mom

         For many mothers, Mother’s Day is the favorite holiday of the year.  It is so nice to be honored and hear the expressions of love and appreciation.  However, in many cases, mothers are not given the respect or honor they should receive not only on Mother’s Day but also during the remainder of the year.  

         In order for a mother to be respected, she must do some things to earn that respect, dad needs to encourage the children to respect their mother, and a family needs to attend a church where children are taught the importance of the family and the command to honor parents.

         Although we should each respect our mother whether the respect is earned or not, it is so much easier when the mother does and does not do certain things.  Mothers should have the well-being of the family in her mind and heart first after love for God.  A Godly woman is a woman who is filled with love as described in the 13thchapter of I Corinthians in the Bible.  She is patient with her children and understands each child is unique. She needs to do her best to see that the children are getting proper food and have a clean, orderly house to live in.  She needs to be an encourager.  Her speech should be gentle.  Mothers who use profanity and “street talk” have a hard time getting real respect from children.  

         Dad plays a big role in teaching children proper respect. He needs to set a good example for the children by showing respect to their mother.  In addition to setting the example, he needs to require the children to always speak respectfully and to listen to the mother.  Under no circumstances should he override the mother’s decision in the presence of the children.  To do so indicates that he does not believe that she is capable of making right decisions for them. Children quickly pick up on this attitude and they, too, decide that she is not capable of giving them advice.  If dad disagrees with mom, the issue should be settled between the two of them out of the presence of the children.  When men talk down to their wives in front of the children, the children get the impression that their mother is inferior. Mother’s Day presents an opportunity for dad to work with the children to remind them to do something to show their appreciation and love for their mother.  

         Families who do not attend church are robbing themselves of a great deal of help.  In church, the children are taught the Ten Commandments. They usually are required to memorize them.  One of the commandments tells us to honor our fathers and mothers.  This is not an option.  God holds us responsible to obey this commandment as well as the others.  It really helps to have someone outside the family teaching the children to act properly and to respect their parents. As I watch children in church recite Scripture, sing songs, and learn how to behave properly, I often feel sad to think how many children are missing out on these activities.  These activities, along with camp opportunities, enhance the learning they get at school and home. They get practice in memorizing and they learn Scripture verses about acting correctly which better prepares them for life.

         Although Mother’s Day comes only one time each year, we should teach children to love and respect their mothers at all times.  This positive behavior should become a pattern of behavior to last a lifetime.  

Remembering Mama

parenting, Raising kids, , ,

Train up a child…

 

Remembering Mama

 

Whether it is mom, mama, mommy, ma, or mother, we all have our memories of that special person. In my case, sometimes it was mom, and sometimes it was mama.

Each summer when I listen to the weather report, I hear that record heat temperatures in the Ozarks were set in the summer of 1936. That was the summer my mom was carrying me. I was born in October of that year. There was no air conditioning in the little farmhouse outside Verona, MO. Mom cooked on a wood stove. There was no electricity until I was in upper elementary school.

About ten years before I was born, my dad’s mom had passed away, leaving four younger brothers of my dad to be raised without a mother. The job fell to my mom. She took them into our home. She and my dad raised them along with my four sisters and me.

I can barely remember a gasoline powered washing machine with a wringer on top. Mom built a fire outside to heat water in a washtub. She carried the water to the screened-in back porch and poured it in the washing machine to do the weekly laundry each Monday. She had two clotheslines strung between two trees. When they were full, the clothes were spread over the barbed wire fence that separated the yard from the pasture. She cooked starch to use. When the clothes dried, they were stiff. She sprinkled them with water and wrapped them up in a sheet. Then she put her two old flatirons on the wood stove to heat them up to do the ironing. When the one she was using cooled off, she would put it on the stove and pick up the other one to use until it cooled off while the first one got hot. She never let her girls go out in public without starched and ironed dresses that she had made of feed sacks.

This was during the Great Depression so there was the added worry of what to feed the family. Mom told me once that she could remember going to the chicken house, sitting on a tomato crate, putting her head in her hands and crying because she didn’t know what she was going to feed everyone. She remarked that she could still remember, after several years had passed, hearing one of my dad’s brothers saying, “More beans, please.” Beans, fried potatoes, and cornbread were served often. On Sundays, mom would wring the head off a chicken and we would have fried chicken. Thankfully, we never had to line up for soup behind the soup truck that came to town like many others did. I can barely remember standing beside my dad and seeing the line of folks holding their bowls, cups, and spoons, waiting for soup to be ladled into their containers.

Mom helped my dad plant a garden and milk cows. I can remember seeing her hands so chapped that they were cracked and bleeding. I don’t ever remember seeing her have hand lotion.   Things got easier for mom when my dad’s brothers married and moved out of our home. Gradually the country came out of the depression and daddy built a house in town and opened a grocery store. He kept the farm and leased it out. Mom and another lady opened a restaurant in the back of the store and mom cooked there every day except Sunday.

Mom had only a scant sixth grade education but she knew to “stand by her man”. When my sisters and I married, she told us each the same thing: “When you have problems —and everybody does—don’t come home. Work them out.” Not one of us ever thought of divorce as an option. She had set a wonderful example for us and taught us to be faithful to our husbands.

I realize that many people have memories similar to mine and that my stories are not unique. I believe it is important to remember how things have been in the past and pass that information along to children of today so they will understand and appreciate the contributions that have been made. This Mother’s Day, let’s take a moment to say thanks to, or for, those moms who worked so very hard.