Train up a child…

Every Child Needs Hope

It is very sad to witness a child who has lost hope. A child with no hope is a child who has given up on life. Disastrous behavior such as suicide, violence, experimentation with forms of escapism, or other unwanted acts occur. To prevent these things, we need to understand the causes of the feeling of hopelessness in a child. Understanding the causes can help us prevent or remedy the results of hopelessness.

What makes a child give up hope? When more is expected of a child than that child can produce, a child gives up hope. When a child never seems to measure up to expectations of parents, teachers, or society, the child eventually gets to the point of thinking “What’s the use?” Promoting a child in school year after year, when the child is not mastering the skill level of each grade puts a child in an impossible situation where he/she is unable to accomplish the work assigned. This often causes a child to drop out of school and seek success elsewhere. When a child does not feel well physically, tasks often seem insurmountable. Rejection by others is another reason a child may lose hope. This is especially true with teenagers whose fragile egos are bruised very easily.

We can help prevent hopelessness by using caution in the methods of discipline we use. A child should never be disciplined in such a way as to strip that child of a sense of value. Verbal abuse is often more harmful to children than a hard spanking. Discipline should be geared to inspiring a child to do better rather than condemning a child for making a mistake. Yelling at a child or telling the child that he/she is bad, takes away the child’s value as a person. Good discipline distinguishes between the act of the child being bad and the child, itself, being bad. If a child is told he/she is bad, that child comes to believe it, and the child simply gives up hope of ever being good.

We can help a child have hope by making sure that success is experienced. Even if it is a small success, the child gains hope through the accomplishment. When we put a child in too difficult a situation, we are setting the child up for failure. Each child must grow at his/her own rate. We cannot force a child to do more than he/she is able to do.

When a child knows he/she is loved even when mistakes are made, rejection by others is not so difficult to endure. Children need to know that they are loved unconditionally by parents and by God.

Ultimately, the only hope for any of us is in God, Himself. Things of this world are all temporary. The Bible is our best instruction book for raising children. In I Corinthians, chapter 13, we are told that we need faith, hope, and love. We find all three of these in Christ. Parents, grandparents, and other family members should model the unconditional love of God. In doing so, the child is helped to have hope and can experience love.