Train up a child…

Fun, Fun, Fun

What is the primary goal of raising children? Is it not to prepare them to face life’s challenges? Life is not always fun. If we are to prepare our children adequately, we need to prepare them with this fact in mind. Fun should be a product of activity, not a goal.
It often seems in today’s society that we constantly hear, “It’ll be fun!” Teachers often use this phrase as much as parents to entice children to do certain things. It would be wise to rethink this strategy.
Of course, children need to have fun, but not at all times. We need to be honest with them to let them know that there are times for hard work and serious thinking. What happens when children are constantly told that they will have fun? How can children be motivated to action without using the thought of fun as an enticement?
When a teacher or parent entices children by telling them that something will be fun, it sets them up to think that they are free to do many things that will create fun. Often this results in discipline problems. Children have been told that they will have fun, so they set about to make sure it happens. Surprisingly, then adults begin to fret and become upset because the children won’t settle down and do serious work. Why should they? They have been told that they will have fun! Serious work is not fun!
Further, when they are told over and over that something will be fun, they tend to think that everything should be fun. They will start to reject anything that they don’t consider entertaining. In the minds of the children, thoughts of having fun become the priority for existence. Without realizing it, adults have instilled a belief that having fun is very, very, important.
It is basically dishonest to tell children that everything is going to be fun. Yet, what are we to tell children to motivate them to action? Children are capable of understanding much more than most adults realize. They actually want to be a part of something important. Self-esteem means self-worth. Constant self pleasure does not create self-worth. On the other hand, if children are honestly told that something might be hard work, but we believe they are up to the task, it becomes a challenge. Children become a part of something larger than self. A real sense of worth comes with accomplishment. It is much better to tell a child, “Some of what we need to do may not be fun, but we need to do it.” It is always good to explain the worth of tasks. Explaining the “whys” of requirements helps children to participate.
Fun is pleasurable, but other emotions are valuable as well. Very little compares to the feeling of a job well done. If children experience giving another person pleasure, an inner feeling is instilled that lasts longer than momentary fun. The teamwork used in accomplishing a task produces relationships that may last a long time, and often fun is a by-product of the process. Spontaneous fun is a better memory than conjured up fun, and making fun a constant goal is not wise.

Pat Lamb
patlee@centurytel.net
www.patlambchristianauthor.com
blog: raisingkidsonline.com

“Love never fails” I Corinthians 13:8

We practice what we believe; all the rest is just talk.