by Pat Lamb Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is… Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and patlambchristianauthor.com
“As a twig is bent, so grows the tree” is an old saying meaning that a child grows in the way it is influenced. A child enters the world with inherent gifts and traits. It is God’s intent that each child grow in wisdom, stature, favor with God, and favor with man. It is the task of those nurturing the child to do all possible to help the child grow to be a “straight tall tree”. There are three major influences in our society to help that child grow. The home is the basic place for attitudes to be developed. The school focuses on academic development, and the church focuses on the spiritual development. There is overlapping of areas at each location, but the focus is as described.
The home teaches attitude mostly through example. It has been said that attitudes are caught, not taught. Probably, attitudes are both caught and taught. Attitudes are developed by where emphasis is placed. If emphasis is placed on self pleasure, then an attitude of “If it feels good, do it” will probably be produced and the child will spend his/her time and effort on pleasing self. If an emphasis is placed in the home of service to others, an attitude of self-sacrifice will be produced. If an attitude of eagerness to learn and humility is in the home, a child will more likely do well in school and society. If children are constantly praised and told how wonderful they are, they may develop an attitude of “I’m alright the way I am. I don’t need to learn anything.” If a child is corrected in a loving way when needed and praised when deserving, he/she will be more likely to see the need to learn and improve, knowing that making a mistake is a way to learn. If a child is rewarded undeservedly, an attitude of entitlement may be the result.
Schools receive children with many different attitudes. Teachers can do a limited amount to correct an attitude. Some have said that the basis of attitudes is formed before a child ever begins first grade. Praise and correction can help mold attitudes, but if the teacher has to spend a great deal of time correcting attitudes, less time is available for teaching the academic needs of the child. (Sometimes we fail to realize that when things are added to a teacher’s requirements, something must be subtracted. There is a limited amount of time available and teachers must work within that time frame.) Quite often, teachers in many schools must spend so much time on discipline that very little time is left for instruction of subject matter. Why is there a discipline problem? Usually, the discipline problem is due to the wrong attitude. A child with a good attitude is the child most likely to behave in class, want to learn, and succeed in a job as an adult.
The church focuses on the spiritual foundation of children. Without a spiritual foundation, children have no moral compass. They do not know what is right or wrong and become very confused and frustrated. Children move from one teacher to another in school and each teacher may have a different set of values. Children from broken homes often must deal with a different set of values from each of their biological parents, stepparents and grandparents. Church can help a child sort through the philosophies and differing values required of them and come to a place of certainty as to behavior.
It is not easy to be a child and have to make many decisions before being equipped to do so. Children need the help of loving parents, teachers, and church workers to “bend” them in a direction pleasing to the God who created them.