Tag Archives: parenting delinquent children

Children and Learning Disabilities

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by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble. www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Children and Learning Disabilities

Train up a child…

Children and Learning Disabilities

       We hear a great deal about children who have learning disabilities.  There are children who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Behavior Disorder, Dyslexia, and recently I heard of an instance where children were being diagnosed with obedience disorder.  One has to wonder about the authenticity of many of these diagnoses. 

         With the wide use of drugs and alcohol during recent years, we have to consider the possibility that many babies have been born carrying the effects of the usage of these substances by their parents.  No doubt, there has been some effect upon the ability of those children to cope with life. On the other hand, one can’t help but wonder if many children are labeled with the terms mentioned simply because those working with the children can come up with no way to deal with the needs the children have. In addition to the effects of substance abuse, children are also affected by nutrition and inherent interests.

         I had occasion several years ago to visit a neonatal ward in a hospital that specialized in babies born with problems.  It was horrible to watch little babies, so small you could hold them in your hand, shiver and shake with withdrawal symptoms from drugs because their mothers had used drugs while carrying them. When my husband and I worked on the Navajo reservation, we learned that some parents would put alcohol in the baby bottles on the weekend to put them out while they had a good time.  Now, I know of homes where children are constantly with cigarette smoke and they are getting the effects of the secondhand smoke.  This affects their health and possibly they have withdrawal symptoms needing “a smoke” during school hours.  Research shows that a large percentage of retardation is caused by mothers using alcohol while they were pregnant. There is much evidence to indicate that substances affect a child’s behavior and learning ability.

         When I was teaching GED classes,  I had a student enroll in my GED class who told me that he drank two 2-liter bottles of Mountain Dew and smoked two packs of cigarettes each day.  He couldn’t understand why he was having a difficult time sitting in class and concentrating on studying!  Although this sounds extreme, it is not an isolated incident. Caffeine is not a good thing for children and too much caffeine and sugar is not good for adults.  (Four grams of sugar equals one teaspoon.  One large Mountain Dew has about 23 teaspoons of sugar.) Many adults allow children to drink a great deal of soda with caffeine, give them large amounts of sugar, and do not watch the diets of their children.  What a child consumes certainly affects learning and behavior.         

         When God created us, He didn’t create us with the idea in mind that all were to fit in a mold of behavior expected by the educational personnel in today’s schools.  I’m not sure that our ideas of how children are to respond to our teaching are how God intended all children to respond. Children are born with dominance in three or four intelligences. Children who have the “body” intelligence will naturally find it more difficult to sit quietly and pay attention in school.

         There is probably no person alive who does not have some difficulty at some time or another in learning something.  We have to find ways to work with ourselves to cope with the difficulties we have in order to learn what we need to survive.  As parents and teachers, we need to help children learn to cope with their challenges.  Unfortunately, labeling a child with a disability name often enables a child to feel excused for lack of accomplishment.  Children grow up thinking they can’t do some things and they simply stop trying. We need to use common sense in working with children when they have challenges to learning. 

Some Children Prefer Physical Activity

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Train up a child…by Pat Lamb www.patlambchristianauthor.com

Some Children Prefer Physical Activity

         Some children are “body smart”.  Experts tell us that we are all born with dominance in three or four of the seven intelligences.  The seven intelligences are:  verbal/linguistic, logical/mathematical, visual/spatial, body/kinesthetic, musical/rhythmic, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Other names for these intelligences are:  word smart, numbers smart, picture smart, body smart, people smart, and self smart.

         The dominance in “body smart” is displayed when children prefer physical activity over sedentary activity.  These children really go for sports or any physical activity such as dancing.  They often find it difficult to sit still for long lengths of time.  In adulthood, someone may say, “I couldn’t talk if my hands were tied behind my back!” The movement of hands while talking is a clue to recognizing this intelligence.  This intelligence involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind and body union.  

         The teacher or parent would be wise to keep these children moving as much as possible.  They can act out stories, participate in drama, or be given opportunities to participate in sports or make display projects.  They like to work with their hands, and they should be given breaks often if they have to sit for very long.  Younger children could learn the alphabet by forming the letters in play-doh. “Body smart” children like water play and painting. They like demonstrations to mimic rather than simply listening to instructions.  Physical games of all kinds appeal to these children.  Swimming is an excellent activity as it provides a real positive outlet for physical energy. 

         Other possible teaching activities for the bodily/kinesthetic child include acting out scenes from the past in charades to learn history, standing and turning 45, 180, or 360 degrees to learn the degrees in a circle, or making a healthy snack food and eating it to learn nutrition.  The possibilities are almost endless. 

         Children who are dominant in the “body smart” intelligence may grow up to be surgeons, physical education teachers, physical therapists, mechanics, actors, factory workers, nurses, house cleaners, or any career involving physical activity.

         The physically active child may seem to be a challenge to tired parents or teachers. I wonder if some of the children who have been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder may simply be children who are “body smart”.  Whether or not this is the case, these children need constant physical activity. With understanding and planning, the “body smart” children can be real assets. When the parent or teacher is tired, the active child probably wants to keep going.  We can have the child run errands and do some of the things we may not have the energy to do.  We simply need to keep something going for this child because if we don’t, the child will find something on his/her own.  I remember reading someplace, “Confucius say, ‘A child with something to do, him busy.  A child with nothing to do, him busy, too!’”

It’s a Matter of Choice

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Train up a child…

 

It’s a Matter of Choice

 

There are many parents of older children who are carrying a load of guilt as they go about their daily activities. These are the parents of children who did not turn out in adulthood as the parents had visualized during their upbringing. These parents are feeling that they were bad parents who did a poor job of raising their children.

The truth is that when God created us, he created us with the ability to make our own choices. God does not choose for us and neither can we choose for our children. Just as God tries to teach us and persuade us, so we in turn try to teach and persuade our children. Ultimately, we are each judged individually based on the choices we have made.

Why, then, do we have the verse in the Bible upon which this column is based? Why does the Bible say, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. (Proverbs 22:6)? It is because God wants us to do all we can to train a child in a way that the child will want to live a righteous life. However, a child is not truly trained until he/she automatically acts according to the principles being taught. Telling is not teaching. A child must determine for self the principles upon which his/her life will be based. We may think we have trained the child, but in reality the child may not be truly trained. If the child is truly trained, that child will not depart from those truths learned. However, ultimately it is the choice of the child as to whether he/she can be trained.

When a child is small, it is easy to force a child to behave correctly as we perceive correct behavior. That does not mean that the child is convinced that the behavior being required is best. Children often obey out of fear, not really believing what they are being told. For instance, we can require a child to say, “I’m sorry”, but that child may not be sorry at all. What else would a 3 ft. child do when being confronted by a 6 ft. adult? The child may or may not learn later the reason for being sorry. Even though the child obeyed, there may have been no sincerity involved.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. We do what we can with the tools we have at the time. However, God holds us responsible for doing our best with those tools and for continuing to learn about childrearing to obtain more tools. We, as parents, are judged according to our intent and actions as parents. Children are judged according to the choices they make. As we think back through history, we can see those who came from what we would think of as really bad homes, yet they turned out to be real contributors to society. It is just as true that children can be raised in good homes and not turn out as expected.

What is the answer, then, to the task of parents? It is to love our children with a self-sacrificial love, and do the best we possibly can. We try to make sure they have a spiritual foundation as well as a good foundation in mental, physical, and social growth. We need to continue to pray for them as long as we live. We need to remember, however, that even God’s children do not always turn out the way He wants. He wants the children He has entrusted to our care to be His obedient children and loves them even more than we do. We are not in this task alone. We pray that they will make the right choices.